Feel like a slave and angry

Heathre - posted on 10/16/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

6

0

0

I feel like a total slave to my family with cooking, cleaning, feeding everyone every meal. It is exhausting and I have been doing it for years—my two kids are now teens. I also work 30 hours a week.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

FUCK OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE BITCH YOU LIVE IN A NEW GENERATION WERE PARENTS ONLY HAVE KIDS SO THAT THEY CAN DO CHORES FOR THIER PARENTS. BLA BLA BLA... HENCE THE KIDS ARE THE SLAVES!!! NOT THE PARENTS!!! PARENTS SHOULD HAVE THOSE RESPONSIBILTYS... MAYBE YOU HAVE THE WRONG HUSBAND IF HE AINT HELPING YOU WITH THAT SHIT. MOST PEOPLE WORK AT LEAST 40 HOURS A WEEK SO BITCH RELAX. THX. BADASSMOMMYOUT

Anne - posted on 11/26/2012

16

0

4

It is about time you bring respect in your family. I am glad you are angry because it is totally unacceptable. Common, ladies, we are not back in the 50s when women had no word say.



Here is what I do with my children: they have to help whether they like it or not.



If you have a husband, chances are he does not know how hard it is on you. Men do not notice these things not because they don't care , just because that is not what they process.



If I were you I would have a serious family meeting where I would state precisely what I expect in terms of help. If you give precise assignments to your husband he will be happy to help. Your kids initially might not be willing but make sure they face the consequences if they don't help. What I mean bu this is that you must resist the temptation to do it yourself.



Take the time to really think about what you would like them to do, and write it down. And think about what you will do for yourself too! Think girlfriend gathering or anything that would truly relax you.



I claim on my blog and on my site that kids should come after the parenting couple. The fact that you are so stressed and tired does not serve anybody. Time to take back control of your life!

Hope this helps

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/17/2012

13,264

21

2015

It's time to teach your teens how to cook and care for a house. Mine both split laundry, cleaning, yard, and cooking duties. Both routinely have a night that they cook, and on the nights that they don't they're helping with dinner chores. Both do their own laundry, and their own cleaning (most of the time)



Ideally you would have started this when they were young, so that by the time they hit middle school, it would be second nature. If you haven't, then you'll have a battle.



I wish you luck. Its hard NOT to feel like a slave, but the only way around it is to train those kids!



Good luck!

8 Comments

View replies by

Danni - posted on 12/01/2012

2

0

0

I feel the same way as I also work full time while running a household. My mum helps where she can, which is a god send, otherwise I'd go potty. It's hard on everyone when mum isn't happy. My son tries his hardest to help but I think my expectations are too high sometimes, especially as he's only 7, but I don't want him growing up thinking women do all the work...life just isn't like that anymore.



My husband travels a lot with his job so that is also big pressure BUT I must say, it's a lot essier when he isn't around to mess the house up! When he is around though, I usually send them both out for half a day so I can get the housework done without them around, otherwise I start yelling. This is not an ideal way to deal with the issue but I get frustrated.

My son has his set chores and I now pay him so it gives him incentive to do them and it also impresses on him that yes you do get paid for doing work. He saves his money up and it gives me great delight to see him counting his hard-earned cash.



I think it's good to set chores for kids (husband is a kid too) so they learn that life isn't a ride!



Good luck!

Terri - posted on 11/19/2012

1

0

0

I know how you feel. I am a working wife and a mother of two grown girls. I have been cooking since I was 10 years of age and I am about to turn 50 around the corner. I work 40 hours a week, I am transitioning jobs and find myself having to develop resume's, going to interviews, asked to start -up a business, go to after hour trainings, be apart of a board...It is a part of my job to cont. to mix and mingle...on top of it all my husband and adult children refuse to cook meals. I am sick of it. I told them how I feel, but they continue to not eat, eat out ...ect Hang in there!

L R - posted on 10/16/2012

44

0

3

Heathre, it's time to start assigning your teens to jobs and if they don't do them... they lose their most precious thing... their phones (haha). I bet that they will learn quickly. There is no reason they cannot help with the cleaning and even maybe have a night where everyone participates in a dinner, such as pizza night! Have each person add one item to their own pizza (just buy the little round soft back pitas or bread). It's so simple and have a little reward at the end of the week. They may find it to be immature but believe me, even teens love surprises! Good Luck.

Starr - posted on 10/16/2012

151

0

27

I feel the same way :) What we find useful sometimes is when our older girls ask us to take them somewhere and/or give them money we usually make them do some sort of chore before they get it. They want a ride to Suzzy's house, okay no problem after you do the dishes. Oh, you want money for lunch with your friends, sure honey but you owe me 2 hours of babysitting your little sister :) It doesn't solve the problem but it does help out. I"m sure it would be much better to setup a chore schedule but it always seemed like no one ever stuck to it and it was work keeping up with.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms