Feeling guilty about doing what i feel is right for my 18 year old.

Shelly - posted on 02/11/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have an 18 year old daughter just turned 18 on sunday, she has been with her boyfriend for 5 months. Tonight my daughter asked me if she could go on a trip with her boyfriend 3 hours away. They have spent nights together several times (i know not everyone agree with that and would have comments about it but its not the main focus of this question so i really hope comments will be focused on this post and not that please.) When they go on this trip it will be just the two of them and he will be driving. This is the first time her boyfriend has driven this far from home and the weather here is unpredictable and its calling for some snow this weekend and that on top of him being an inexperienced driver makes me feel very uncomfortable about her going and i don't want her to go but i have a hard time telling her no when something means this much to her. Does anyone know how i can get over feeling guilty about having to tell her no.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/17/2014

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To that, Shelly, I have to respond, again, that she has to learn sometime...you simply cannot keep her bubble wrapped.

Shelly - posted on 02/15/2014

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she is 18 but she doesn't always think about consequences for her actions and she respects the rules of the house, i feel guilty but at the same time i don't want her risking her life. The weather here gets very very bad and there are a lot of accidents that happen even snow plows have gone off the road thats what makes me so concerned.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/12/2014

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Well, I guess location is everything. By the time my kid was 18, he was making a normal trek to his grandmother's house which is 2.5 hours on a good day on good roads...

I'd say you're overreacting. Is this a day trip, or an overnighter? If its an overnighter, then they'll be rested for the drive back. But, really, 3 hours one way...We travel that regularly for my son's visits to his Clinician at the hospital.

I guess what I'm saying is that you must not be in the Mountain West area...because a 2 to 3 hour trip between places out here is actually the 'norm'. Plus, you have to let them go sometime. For me, it was this summer, when my (then) 18 yo wanted to take his brother to summer camp. The trip was over 900 miles one way, and 14 hours of driving time. And they did just fine. My 18 & 16 year olds made the trip there, back, and in between, had a ball doing it, and earned themselves some life experience.

And, I was 18 when I did my first road trip without the folks, 650 miles one way, 1 week gone.

They'll most likely be just fine.

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