Found out 16 year old daughter is sexting on her email with a complete stranger

Barbara - posted on 04/16/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

4

0

0

We found out that our daughter is sexting on her email with a complete stranger. She is into this cosplay and got on a site that people join in and tell stories under their character. Her grades started dropping and that cause the concern for us to investigate. She is now lying and when we looked at her email, saw that she was having a conversation completely with a male. She tells me that he's just a kid like her, but when I ask her how do you know she said that she doesn't. As far as we can see, there have been no pictures but the content of the emails were very sexual. Has anyone ever dealt with this and helped their child under stand the consequences of this type of behavior.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Barbara - posted on 04/17/2013

4

0

0

Thank you Kristi for your post. We have taken away all of her electronics. She doesn't even have her cel phone. Atleast, she is attending school with her siblings and she has a way of contacting us if there is anything she needs. I'm not concerned of her using her siblings phone for anything else. She has a brutal brother and sister who will ask what she needs it for and they won't let her use it unless they feel it was truly necessary. They do not have any idea of the sexting but know that we aren't happy with her grades in school. She has an older computer and trust me, I've been on her computer looking at EVERYTHING and can not find anything that she has done any kind of pictures or webcam...thank God. We know that this is just the beginning and we have already talked about having her see someone. I will say this, when I found the emails, by mistake, it broke my heart that this was my little girl saying this to someone she has never met. My husband and I are working with her, talking with her now and we will just take one step at time. Thank you again for your input.

Kristi - posted on 04/17/2013

1,355

3

78

I would definitely suspend all things electronic. If you want her to have a cell phone for practical/safety purposes, your cellular provider should be able to block all features you don't want her to have. You may even be able to do it yourself from your online account.

I would google the laws that get people put on the sex offender registration list and show them to her, she may not be too far away. I totally second Cynthia's advice about getting an objective third party involved to help work through this. She obviously has something going on that she feels the need for this kind of attention. That needs to be addressed and dealt with appropriately.

Do you have a webcam? She might not be sending pictures, she might be doing live shows. Probably not, pictures usually come first. Sometimes we think we've hit the bottom and damn, if we don't fall down another flight of stairs. I just didn't want that to come out of left field right when you thought you were making progress...been there, done that. Not with this issue but other biggies. Hard to see the forest through the trees, kinda thing.

Prayers and positive thoughts your way! xo

Cynthia - posted on 04/16/2013

14

0

3

A 16 year old only understands what she wants to understand. Sexting can be stopped. Set parental controls on the computer. I personally, would take the computer away for a period of time so that you have the computer analyzed.

This is very serious and can destroy your daughter's reputation. Here's a link that ABC News released about the legal and social consequenses of teenage sexting: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/WorldNe...

You may need to get a mediator-- family therapist or clergyman-- to help explain these dangers. Today's celebrity culture releases sex tapes and glorifies this behavior. So, to these kids they think its perfectly fine and glamorous.

5 Comments

View replies by

Kristi - posted on 04/17/2013

1,355

3

78

Cynthia--Funny you should say it takes a village, I just told another mom that, too! It is so true!!

Barbara--

I, again, agree with Cynthia that you are being proactive instead of over reactive. That's great! It says a lot about how much you love your daughter and want to help her. It shows her compassion. That is important. I think it is reflected in that your daughter gets why you are doing what you are. I think it was very wise to keep her siblings in the dark. Keep up the good work! Don't get too discouraged if you have some set backs along the way. That is normal and to be expected. The important thing is you're on the right road. Blessings and prayers!

Cynthia - posted on 04/17/2013

14

0

3

Good Luck Barbara!

I think you are being proactive! Times like these seem dark, but you are teaching your daughter the standards you and your husband live by. It doesn't mean she will never do anything like this again. It does mean that she knows how her family feels about this behavior and will have this set of tools to use the next time she gets drawn into another situation like this!

Be strong! Remember, it takes a village to raise children. The more people you get involved the more people they are accountable to.

Wishing you peace!

Barbara - posted on 04/17/2013

4

0

0

Thank you Cynthia for your post. She's a smart girl but I just don't understand what made her decide to engage herself in conversations like that in an email. We are working with her and she lost all her privileges when I found the emails. She's not too happy with us but she has come out and said that she understands our reasoning for not doing it. We've just started and have a long way to go but thank you again for your input.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms