Freshman daughter failing, does not care.

User - posted on 03/01/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My daughter is so bright and beautiful and mature beyond her years. She was adopted at birth. Her birth mother a drug addict. My daughter was considered gifted until age 4, at age 6 she was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety We medicated and it was good. We had decent run until 5th grade and the hormonal issues with medication. Nothing seemed to work, off meds. Back on again in 6th-7th and part of 8th, grades decent to good.Because she was doing so well, got her a smart phone and loosened the leash. More privileges. Seems as if she was making good choices. Happy. End of last quarter of 8th grade, grades dropped, she stopped, Freshman year, crash and burned. Tried medicating with Vivance at her request, not a good experience. She almost killed herself, lost her virginity, experimented with drugs and alcohol. Bullied by her peers, social pressures, pressures of homework...she broke. I feel I have lost her. We are okay, but it is like walking on eggs shells. She is extremely strong willed and has become defiant. NOTHING positive or negative motivates her, not rewards, I can take away everything and it makes no difference. I am giving up. I am lucky she is still capable of making a few good choices.I want her to have a productive and happy life... her well being is most important, but what happens when her peers separate from her because she is labeled a loser academically. College? Her future? I have always been able to help her with homework, but am working and cannot, nor will she let me. I now realize I was her support in the homework area and the same problem has always existed. She has been tested for LD twice. She scores well, her grades...failing. Is it that she can't or that she truly does not care? Anyone?

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Jodi - posted on 03/06/2015

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Have you ever had her diagnosis reassessed? It may be that she isn't actually ADHD. It is not uncommon for something such as bipolar to be misdiagnosed until a child is in their teens - I know a student this happened to and she went severely downhill around the age of 13, and she sounds very similar. I'd be considering seeing a psychiatrist to discuss the issues and look at doing more testing.

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