Frustrated Mom ready to Kick almost 19 year old son out!

Allison - posted on 03/30/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have HAD IT; I am so exhausted to the point that it affects my livelihood. My son will be 19 in July but he has been a problem since 8th grade. It started with being rebellious, having problems in school, the school would call on a weekly basis with messages concerning his cutting classes, being suspended, placed in detention it just NEVER stopped. I placed my son in counseling for 2-3 years, it may have helped somewhat but the problems continued. It graduated to him stealing things out of my home to sell them; he stole my engagement ring and pawned it. He stole tools from the garage and sold them. He stole other jewelry of mine and sold it. He is VERY disrespectful, he does not respect me, has called me everything you can imagine. YES! He smokes pot I have found drug paraphernalia in my bathroom, sun porch, his room. I have also founds empty bottle of beer in his room closet. The police have been to my house more than 4 times for incidents my son has gotten into with his friends. At 19...there is no calm he continues to disrespect my rules. He is going to community college (I'm not even sure if he attends) he leaves every morning early on to get to school. He has a part-time job that he works from M-F. He has punch holes in the walls, doors, broke a 47" TV, thrown items across the room and at this point I am just in fear of my own safety. He is 6'1, 250 lbs. The other night he came in and forgot to close the garage door that leads into the house. Thank God the neighborhood is relatively safe but he left us unsecured all night with an open garage door. He FORGETS everything, when he uses POT he is more violent and just doesn't remember a thing. I am so exhausted, I am a single mom his father has been NO help over the years. I want to enjoy my life at some point; I can't continue to carry him. Today I told him he will have to give me a date THIS week; I want him to move out. My backup plan is that if he doesn't give me date then on the last day of semester classes which ends May 7th. I am locking him out of the house. All of the locks have already been changed; he has no access to my house unless I am home. I will pack his clothes in bags and leave them on the front porch with a list of shelters. I feel HORRIBLE, no parent would ever dream of this for their child. But I cannot continue to enable him. In life you will either pick yourself up by the bootstraps or fail and continue to fail at your own choice.

I would love to hear some of your comments. Am I doing the right thing? It Helps to Hear.

4 Comments

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Kathy - posted on 04/01/2014

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so hard to imagine that our little babies would end up causing so much grief. it sounds like you have done all you can to help him over the years. he's 19 now, and it's time he learn to look after himself, even if that means he will have to hit a rock bottom to climb back up. it's time for you to concentrate on your own life, and try to enjoy some of it. it's time to just pray that eventually he will come to his senses and see that his path is only leading to misery. maybe when he has to learn to stand on his own two feet, he will see that he needs to make improvements in his life. give yourself permission to step back, and let him learn from his mistakes. good luck!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/01/2014

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Absolutely the right thing.

Stick by your guns

Wendy - posted on 03/31/2014

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by the sounds of all this, Damn right! 19 he's a man and needs to stand up and act like it..........don't back down. you are enabling him, stop now.........its hard to do when its a loved one but its for the best....he will never grow up or change his ways as long as you put up with his shit.........yes I've done it, experience talking....good luck

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