Heartbroken

Susan - posted on 06/04/2017 ( 5 moms have responded )

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We have been struggling with my 13 year old son for months. I have taken a leave of absence from work to support him since September. He has been truant from school and refuses to go at all lately. I've found out he's been using drugs and today was out of control. I called the police and he was charged with assault against my husband. My son hates me right now but this was the only way to get him help since in Ontario chldren have the right to refuse counselling as of the age of 13. Every time I've tried to access help for him I have gotten that answer. My son hates me right now and is spending the night in jail. I hope I've done the right thing. Hardest decision I've ever made.

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Jtcampe3 - posted on 06/12/2017

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Will continue to pray for your family as you travel this road. You are doing a great job, mom! ((Hugs))

Susan - posted on 06/10/2017

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As an update - my 13 year old spent 3 nights in jail because I called the police. He is now home with us under strict conditions of the court. He comes from a good, 2-parent family and we live in a small village of 1000 people. We have always done things together and had many just say no to drugs conversations. I am posting this to other parents to hold their babies tightly. My son made friends who "accepted him" and he finally felt he belonged. These friends also came from good homes and families, however these friends were drug dealers and roping my child in. I saw the changes in my son, and fought with all my might to hold him tightly. Unfortunately the pull of acceptance and drugs was stronger than a living family. It took calling the police and seeing my baby arrested to finally get him the help he so desperately needs. He was stopped young so, and off drugs he really is a nice kid. Our journey is long from over. I pray for guidance every day, and I hope that this small piece of my struggle will give another parent the strength to trust their instincts and gut feelings. Be strong. Our babies are too important to give up on.

DC - posted on 06/07/2017

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I’m so sorry things have turned out like this for you. You sound like a caring mom, and I imagine this is so hard for you and it must be filling every waking moment right now.

Sometimes there is depression involved when teens turn to drugs, I wonder if that is a part? Just a thought in case that is part of the equation. I could ask a lot of questions, but bottom line: he is responsible for his own actions. Even though you are still legally responsible, you need to understand that at a certain point, you can no longer control what your children do. Don’t take your DS’s choices personally. You can certainly be a safe place for him to express what he feels, but it doesn’t sound like that is going to happen right away. You are not alone in this and there is not going to be a quick fix. You need some resources, I think. This article (http://bit.ly/2qBtXbF) may help you. It not only has good info, but it also has additional places you can look for help. You and your DH need to be united on your approach as well. I have prayed for you and your family. Blessings.

Jtcampe3 - posted on 06/06/2017

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Aww, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Parenting teens is one of the hardest jobs out there. It sounds like you are doing your very best to help your son get the help he needs. When our children suffer the consequences of bad behavior, that is how they learn and grow. I will be praying for your family. ((Hugs))

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