Help; 14y daughter has started highschool and is having anxiety

Mscorr - posted on 10/25/2011 ( 23 moms have responded )

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She is having Anxiety and its manifesting itself in sickness and aches body pains. I have sent her to Dr to rule out anything else..He called it stress. Every morning is a fight as "I'm sick and cant go" I make her. I believe she has pain and is not feeling well but she cannot let this take over her life. Id appreciate any help in this situation. Any tips on how I can help her? Thank you
ps she has no motivation to do anything, Hang with friends, go out, do school work. Its breaking my heart.

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Vicki - posted on 11/07/2011

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A really good perfectly balanced B complex will help with depression and anxiousness. I could recommend a brand if you like. That helped me.

Kelly - posted on 10/31/2011

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I so happy to hear that she is doing better. As a educator I see so many children get labeled as having some type of issue and its not always the case. I am so glad you found out what the problem was and handled it correctly. I wouldn't think of it as her running from her problems, when there is an authority figure involved it is best to remove the child from the situation. I am so glad to hear that she is adapting so much better,

Sherry - posted on 10/26/2011

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I think some anxiety is normal, especially for Freshman. There might be a specific issue that she is afraid of that is causing the anxiety rather than just the entire high school experience. I would tell her how concerned you are and see if she will confide in you. If not, then perhaps she can talk to someone that she is comfortable with. Your high school should have a social worker at the school. Perhaps you can contact them and see if they can get her to talk. Does she have friends in the same classes? If not, maybe they can change her schedule around to be in a few classes with friends. High school is so hard, I feel for her. I hope it works out. Best of luck!

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[deleted account]

I am so glad that she opened up to you and you figured out the root of the problem. I just today had to deal with a teacher that my son felt was harassing him. He could do no right and was beyond frustrated which resulted in an increase in migraines and a flare in his Reynaud's. I have to agree that when an authority figure has your child scared, stressed or uncomfortable that it needs to be addressed. In our case the teacher wouldn't even say that she didn't mean to make our son feel that way. She got so mad at me that she walked out of the meeting and refused to deal with us any more even though I was as polite as possible. Sometimes personalities don't click. I hope your daughter continues to thrive now that things have been worked out.

Dee - posted on 12/08/2011

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Get her to a good Psychologist it will help, they give you tools to cope as well as getting down to what is causing it. I have been there, it is a very scary hard road and you need help before it spirals out of control.

Valleria - posted on 11/21/2011

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I posted before and believe me I sympathize and empathize with you. As parents we want to know that every thing will be ok, especially with our daughters. Professional help will give her the necessary tools to live a more productive life. I have had to learn that anxiety is real and can be managed. I am an older parent and wish the best for my daughter. I have studied psychology and sociolgy but am not comfortable diagnosing my child so she receives counseling as well as phychiatric monitoring. I pray but having help for myself and her makes it some what less frustrating.

Ashley - posted on 11/20/2011

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hi cheryl, i have raised my sister for 6 months now and she goes threw the same thing . i have actually put her in counseling for it cuz it has got so bad. wat i do is go through the steps of her being sick running a fever, throwing up ect ect... then i tell her to do some exercise which might help your daughter tell her to imagine a stop sign ask her wat color it is ask her the shape now tell her in her mind to outline the stop sign and spell S.T.O.P this is a technique many people use having anxiety. but the way placing a reward system help tremendously and NEVER give in hope things get better for ya

Niviene - posted on 11/12/2011

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I have a question to all those suggesting drugs. WHY? Why does a normal reaction to a teens life have to be drugged? Why do so many people think its a good idea to drug a kid? We tell our kids to deal with their problems using their words and brains, but when we have a problem with them we drug them? I don't get it! I am so completely against drugging a kid. The only way I would drug my kid is if I tried EVERYTHING else first, and I mean EVERYTHING. I was a kid who got drugged, you know what it did to me? I got worse, I started hallucinating, and it taught me that drugs are the answer to my problems. I spent a lot of time dealing with the repercussions of my mom putting me on meds when I just needed someone to listen to me that I could trust.
You CANNOT diagnose a child with any mental disorder! Their brains are just developing still and you don't know what they are going to be like! DON'T DRUG YOUR KIDS! Check them for allergies, introduce them to tapping, get them to see a counselor that is about helping them solve their problems not drugging them.

Sue - posted on 11/12/2011

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You have brought back some very heartbreaking memories back to me. My daughter went through the exact same thing. She would become physically ill (throwing up and diarrhea) while getting ready for school. She was diagnosed with school anxiety/ phobia. My best advise to you is to GET HER IN THERAPY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Also keep an open mind about allowing the doctor to presribe medication until the therapy becomes helpful. The fact that your daughter has no motivation to even spend time with friends sounds like she is falling into depression. My daughter has also been diagnosed as bipolar. Words can not describe the pain a mother feels watching her "little girl" battle any mental health disorder. At my daughters lowest point she attempted suicide. She is now a senior in high school and making plans to attend college next fall. She sees her therapist weekly and her psychologist monthly. Your daughter needs your love, understanding, strength and guidance more then ever right now.

Niviene - posted on 11/08/2011

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I suggest to introduce her to EFT Brad Yates on YouTube is easily accessible and readily available.. it takes about 10 minutes a day and does wonders for anyone using it. Do it for yourself too... I use it just about every day... sometimes several times in a day. My 13 year old and 19 disabled, my 5 year old.. all love it and use it. It will change your lives!

Vicki - posted on 11/08/2011

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I am so appalled that so many kids are being bullied and picked on!!! We have to get other parents, principals and even the school board involved. I wonder if the police department can help too! We need massive help. I will be praying for you all to find answers and help.!

Dusty - posted on 11/08/2011

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I am so glad she is doing better i am going to be talking to my daughters teacher tomorrow so i hope i can help her get over whats going on.

Rebekah - posted on 11/08/2011

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My son went through the same thing when he was in middle school. You are on the right track by taking her to the doctor, but you may want to also consider a therapist for your daughter. Anxiety is a very real and debilitating mental issue. It can stem from stress due to increase responsibilities, bullying, hormones, and "mean" girls. I hate that you are having to deal with this. Again, try therapy for her...it helped my son.

Dusty - posted on 11/08/2011

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My daughter is the same way and she is twelve she says she hates school and that she gets picked on and is always saying she doesnt feel good and has pain to and i have sent her to the doctor and there is nothing wrong have you talked to her to see if there is something going on at school.

Lisa - posted on 11/07/2011

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hi this has happened to both my daughters, growing pains, headaches, feeling sick, not wanting to do anything, and it was linked to going through your options at school, and really knuckling down to revision for the exams.....I took m older daughter to the doctors, she was 15 at the time, and he wouldnt give anything to help her cos of her age, so I went to my local Holland and Barratt cos someone suggested HTP5, its basically a little bit like an anti depressant, which lifts their spirits, and brings them back to reality a little, my daughter took a course for one month, and swore by them, said they are the best thing she ever had, now my other daughter who is 15 is going through the same, and she too, has started a course of HTP5, they have nothing harmful in them, or addictive, and have played a massive part in my girls lives, picking them up again, when they are down....hope this helps, and good luck..x

Kim - posted on 11/07/2011

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My son had and has the same problem his anxiety gets so bad and he has finely been diagnosed with BDD- Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I don't know if this is what your daughter is dealing with but it comes out in other ways.

Valleria - posted on 11/06/2011

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my daughter is sixteen and has had anxiety foor about four years . she has days when she does not want to go to school. i make her but she will call from school sometimes for me to come get her. I have been trough years of drs therapists and phychiatrists. She has been diagnosed with anxiety and mood swingsshe is on medications. She says I dont understand what she is feeling. i sympathize and empathize with you. We participate in church regulary. I am a deacon and she is a jr elder. I pray and tell her to pray but it is very frustating for both of us. Make sure you seek professional help as well. I will pray for the two of you

Vicki - posted on 11/02/2011

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Find out immediatley if she is being bullied! Go to the principal and her teachers! This could be serious. She may have been made fun of and feels uncomfortable but I would check into this.

Sherry - posted on 10/31/2011

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That's good to hear, Cheryl. I can almost feel your relief. For future reference, you might want to check out nativeremedies.com for some anxiety solutions. The "Be Calm" drops are fantastic! I hope she can continue to enjoy her first year of high school. It sounds like she is a good student. Take care.

Mscorr - posted on 10/31/2011

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Thank you everyone for all your help. It all came to a head on Friday morning. Another fight, she doesn't want to go. It turns out it was a class she was in. The teacher had my daughter so upset and scared of her. My daughter just opened right up and I was sick and angry. It was affecting all aspects of my daughters life.I dont think one should run from problems, but I had her pulled from that class and put in another.By Saturday my daughter was a different girl..she was back.She did her homework from other classes that she hadn't been doing as she has so much anxiety about the other class. Now she is all caught up and actually got up early today with a smile.
Thank you all again.

Hugs
Cheryl

Kelly - posted on 10/31/2011

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Have you talked to her and asked her if there is a problem at her school. Teenage life can sometimes be more diffcult than adulthood. You have so many children trying to fit in and if they don't they become one of two types of kids, rebellious or outcast. Speaking as a Educator and a mom, try to find out if she is having issues at school. If she won't talk to you, see if there is someone in her life that she feels comfortable confiding in. Pay attention to some of the following: does she complain about her looks, clothing, or things other kids have that she doesn't. Do you find her looking at herself a lot and not liking what she sees? I agree with some of the other post that she needs counseling, but most teenagers will not like going to a shrink that is why you should find someone she can talk to. I hope all the best for you and your daughter and will keep your family in my prayers. God bless

Tah - posted on 10/25/2011

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it sounds to me as if your daughter is depressed and it can manisfest in physical manners, the next stop is not math class but the pyschologist office. This sounds like something that can go bad very quickly if even a minor incident happens. GET HER HELP...
http://www.circleofmoms.com/just-debates...

[deleted account]

I think you may need to get her professional help. I live in Ireland and I know this doesn't help, but Phoebe Prince went to our local high school. She basically told her Mom the same things and they thought it would all get better. It never did. Unless your daughter can have you by her side every day going into school and unless you stay with her all day to reassure her that everything is ok, then you need to provide her with the support mechanisms so she can manage it without you and can face her anxieties. I think the fact you are listening to what she is saying is great. She know's you're taking her seriously. A teen therapist would be the first step, and preferably one recommended by your doctor so that you know they will manage the problem in the best possible way for your daughter and your family. It's a worrying time, but at least she knows you hear her - that's much better than just listening. You need to hear and act on what you hear. Best of luck...

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