Help, I have a 16 year daughter and sometimes I really don't like her.....

Kisha - posted on 09/07/2009 ( 130 moms have responded )

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I love her to death. She's my first born and a very beautiful and intelligent young lady. I must say, I did a great job in raising her. She's very considerate and have a heart of gold, will help anyone in need. Okay, that's all the good stuff. The main problem I have is her mouth. She has to have the last word, and it kills me. And she is so moody. Sometimes, I just want to knock out all her teeth..lol. i ask myself, was i like this with my mother when i was her age?

Having a teenage daughter is the ultimate payback for all the things I put my mother through.lol.....

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Tamara - posted on 09/14/2009

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I'm going to give you some fairly simple advise. Not just as a mom to a 15 1/2 year old daughter going on 22 in her mind but as a once rebellious teen. I learned this the hard way with my own daughter.



Praise is crucial. We can put them down not directly for their mess ups but how often do you praise her? I didn't do it enough and I do now. Even when she is sitting quietly doing something I give her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder or kiss the top of her head and say your such a good girl. Yeah she's nearly 16 but she needs positive reinforcement.



Boundaries. Set them out and respect them and demand the same in return. If she goes to her room and wants time alone, let her go, that is her space. With my daughter I tell her you slam the door you will have me in your face. So go stomp, scream, holla all the way to your room but don't you dare slam that door. And when you need your space to do the same thing, remember that. No matter how mad you get, don't slam that door. I started mocking my daughter. Not directly but every time she upset me or set me off. I'd stomp, scream and holla all the way to my room. I'd shut the door and scream some more including you don't love me. (Don't ever say I don't love you.. they will NEVER forget it and those words have far more weight than you dropping a ton of concrete on them.) At first I was called weird by her and yes I even did it a few times in front of her friends (as she had done to me) eventually she must of saw how she looked. Needless to say it worked. Yes she has her moments still but I respect her space.



One on one. Every teenage girl needs to have time with their moms. I take my daughter for her hair, nails, waxing and it just something between us. No friends, just us. I'll take her to a late movie and insist we go in our pjs. I find little things for just the two of us to do. A quick lunch date or a fancy dinner date, just the two of us.



Communication. When she talks I don't ask questions and do my darndest not to interrupt. I've learned if I'm rambling after 5 minutes she is tuning me out so any explanation beyond 5 minutes is pointless. Asking direct questions is also pointless. Find a way in by asking questions all around what your seeking. Once she feels comfortable with talking to you like this you'll be surprised at the doors this can open.



Patience. Self explanatory.



Put yourself in her shoes. You were once a teenager. We all can say our daughters are our mother's revenge but truth is no teenage girl is ever easy. They have raging hormones and so do we.



Remember proper nutrition and sleep is very crucial to a growing teen. The more sleep my daughter gets the better her mood. If allowed to stay up or out with friends she'd be angry all the time. Why, because she's exhausted and trying to cope. I set age appropriate bedtimes and she cannot be up past 9:30 pm on school nights. She has a tv and playstation in her room but if her lights come on past 10 pm and caught watching tv or playing games they get taken away for the next 2 days. Her cellphone is NOT allowed in the bedroom after lights out on school nights. If caught it is taken away for the next day only.



Discipline. Make the punishment fit the crime don't make your teenager do hard time! (I say that all the time to my daughter but its I'm trying to make the punishment fit your crime not trying to make you do prison time). Screaming your grounded for a month is stupid but we do it. Make it a give and take. You give me your cellphone, ipod, whatever and you can have it back tomorrow or the next day however if you'd like to do some chores we can talk about you not loosing it at all. Some parents don't give their children chores. I use chores not just as a preparation for adulthood but as discipline. I hand her gloves, a face mask, scrub brush and bottle of spray. Got attitude.. scrub the tub, rake the leaves, sweep the floor, etc.. channel that someplace else other than out the mouth.



Lastly.. no matter what they say to you or how you feel.. just remember in the truly trying moments what a sweet baby, toddler or child they once were and like all things in life it will come to pass.

Treena - posted on 09/14/2009

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Hi Kisha! My name is Treena and like you I also have a 16 yr old. Let me add that I have willingly opened my home in the past to teenagers who were shuffled through the foster care system. These teenagers were bitter, angry & hostile because of their life's circumstances. So please hear me and accept this advice with love.



Parenting teenagers is hard work (as you know), so choose your battles. You mention that your daughter is considerate, has a heart of gold & will help anyone in need. That is a blessing!! Focus on the value in that and choose NOT to even notice the "mouth" on her and the moodiness. If you don't feed the fire, it will eventually dwindle away.



Don't allow your daughter's actions (or anybody for that matter) have power over how you feel. Always act in the manner most beneficial to your well being. Don't let your daughter's mood swings creep underneath your skin. When your daughter is trying to get in the last word...shock her and let her. You are going to shock the mess out of her with your new behavior, which will in turn freeze her thought processes & force her to consider a new approach.



I hope I was helpful. From a fellow Mom.

Maria - posted on 04/23/2013

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I am single parent who is raising 5 teenagers from the ages of 14 - 20 years old. Most of the time they are civilized and well behaved. I'm a jellyfish mom with boundaries. Over the years, I had to be firm cos money is harder to come by. My middle-child is giving me grief. And she has been for a long time. She corrects me on everything, swears directly at me, screams, slams or punches walls and doors. Shes manipulated our recent argument. When I thought we got that sorted, another arisen by her and thrown back into my face. (try and keep her focus, but she goes off) I am tired of it all. I feel like its a waste time and energy. I have to learn and accept to let her go, she almost 18 in September. Or else I will be admitted to a metal institution, if I let her stay here, she wants to move out tomorrow and she wants me to paid her dues before she leaves. At this point I just want some peace, and let her go. She has employment, I know she has good variety of friends, that she can turn too. Should I be worried? Am I doing the right thing :(

Ann - posted on 07/25/2011

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I have a 12 year old who is a straight A student, good kid but when she opens her mouth, especially to me, she is so disrespectful. And to answer your question about whether we were like this with our mothers...heck no. We wouldn't be here talking if we did!! If our mothers thought they didn't understand our generation, they should be thankful they are not raising our children at this time. I struggle to understand this "me" generation. I know for me, I put up with way too much from my daughter and it's time to put my foot down. You have to punish them where it really hurts...take away cell phones and computers. It's been working for me! Good luck.

Connie - posted on 07/25/2011

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Its is normal to love your teenager but not like them all the time - Its also ok to tell them you dont like their actions - I dont care if they are a boy or a girl they turn stupid when they are teenagers - But dont worry most of them start coming around and remember what you taught them as they get older - I personally kept mine in check from a very young age - The question I asked most in my house is "Who the hell do you think your talking too?" - Stopping a conversation and following through with punishment usually worked - Opinions were encouraged and discussions happened daily however they better learn how to speak to a parent - It is our jobs as parents not friends to send them out into the world knowing how to speak to potential bosses, teachers, others. I am not saying I never popped them in their mouths because I did when they were younger (not a punch or slap but a quick 3 finger pop to get their attention) - As they were older I withheld activities - After a while they learn the system, your system and you learn what to slide on and what needs to be put in check - Good Luck

130 Comments

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Yumna - posted on 08/04/2011

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Hi Kisha. i am from South Africa and too have a 16 year old daughter.......She is one of Gods richest blessing that he bestowed on me........with challenges of course. Head strong and stubborn, just like her mom, will not back down when she know she is right, just like her mom, steadfast in her beliefs, values, morals and principles, just like her mom. So when I look at myself, where I am and what i have achieved, I know she is going to be awesome. As mothers we forget that our children live and learn what they see and hear. So yes at times it is oh so challenging, but so worth it in the end. hats off to all us wonderful moms and dads, who are doing such an amazing job with our kids.

Gill - posted on 07/25/2011

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I read your post & thought you were talking about my daughter. I have 2 children who are now 29 & 30 years old & 2 girls age 13 & almost 16. Apart from my first-born, a boy, all girls go through this attitude phase. Be strong. Don't rise to her "goading". Turn away. She's a great girl by the looks of it & you've done a great job raising her. Try to see the positive in her. Don't shout over her (as my DH does) as this is so negative. Ask her to go to her room & calm down. Hormones are rife at this age & sometimes they get scared by what's going on. Remember how you were --- if you do you'll remember you were [probably] the same. With your support & love she'll get through it. But please don't turn to violence [how ever you feel like doing so] - it'll backfire on you. X

Emma - posted on 07/22/2011

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well if you think 13+ is bad ive had it since she was 9 and she hasn't even really hit puberty yet, so i'm very demented and sick of it. my mum blames me and says its the post natal depression i suffered and that i don't love her as much as my son etc but after hearing from you lot i think its just something they all go through and it just varies in the time it starts. mind you i still have that towards my mum now at 35 so i guess for some people it never goes away lol although i still sometimes wonder if i have done something wrong

Emma - posted on 07/22/2011

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well if you think 13+ is bad ive had it since she was 9 and she hasn't even really hit puberty yet, so i'm very demented and sick of it. my mum blames me and says its the post natal depression i suffered and that i don't love her as much as my son etc but after hearing from you lot i think its just something they all go through and it just varies in the time it starts. mind you i still have that towards my mum now at 35 so i guess for some people it never goes away lol although i still sometimes wonder if i have done something wrong

Melody - posted on 09/29/2009

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Every time she runs that mouth, something that she really loves take it away from her. Your not supposed to reward her for her mouth!!!!

ROLANDO - posted on 09/28/2009

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GIRL, I FEEL YOU!!!!MY DAUGHTER WILL BE 16 IN DECEMBER.I WILLCELEBRATE WHEN SHE LEAVES HOME!LOL SHE IS A TRIP!!! MY MOM ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT IT WOULD COME BACK TO ME WITH MY DAUGHTERS. SHE WASNT LYING!!! JUST BE HAPPY THAT SHE WILL BE OLD ENOUGH TO LEAVE IN A COUPLE MORE YEARS. YOU ARE ALMOST DONE!!!

Gloria - posted on 09/28/2009

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I feel your pain! lol. I have 16 yr old daughter. Who is very sweet and polite. But her mouth is her downfall also. Especially with me at times and her teachers(those that she doesn't agree with) She's a good and I love her but you do want to wring there necks at times!LOL! I always thought I was a good girl. But I am sure and Iknow I had my moments at her age to. But we get it ten folds. I have 2yrs left 2012. Good luck girl!

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I suppose what we have to do (me also as I have 16 year old and 18 year old daughters) is be the grown up. Let them have the last word when we can, knowing inside that we are correct! Pick the important times to insist. Hopefully, they will grow out of this .....soon

SANDRA - posted on 09/27/2009

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OK I TOO HAVE A 14 YR OLD DAUGHTER ALL MOUTH LOL.....

I HAVE FOUND THAT TAKING THINGS FROM HER LIKE CELL, PHONE. TV LAP TOP DANCES AT SCHOOL,FRIENDS OVER IS THE WAY TO GO AFTER I GIVE HER A STERN WARNING AND SHE PRESISTS.

SHE USE TO DRIVE ME CRAZY AND STILL PUSHES MY BUTTONS ON OCCASSIONS.

NOW I SAY DANIELLE THIS IS A WARNING ABOUT YOUR DISRESPECTFULL TALK. IF I HAVE TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN I WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR CELL ETC....AND I SAY IT IN THE CALMEST TALK POSSIABLE [THIS TAKES PRACTICE]

IF SHE DOSE NOT COMPLY I MAKE GOOD ON MY PROMISE IMMEDIATLY!!!!!!!!

IF THAT DOES NOT WORK I GO DOWN THE LINE COLLECTING LAP TOP,CANCELING SCHEDULED EVENTS I KNOW SHE WANTS TO TAKE PART IN .

THEN YOU MUST FOLLOW THROUGH WITH NOOOO TIME OF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR AT FIRST THAN WHEN THEY BECOME MORE COMPLIANT OCCASIONALY I WILL SHORTEN HER SENTICE.

DOING THIS CONSISTANTLY WILL OVER TIME WILL WORK.....YES THIS WILL HURT YOU MORE THAN THEM......BUT EVENTULLY IF THEY DONT WANT TO BE DENIED THERE THINGS THEY WILL BEND.

STAY CALM ,GIVE WARNING,MAKE GOOD ON THREAT......THIS ONES IMPORTANT DONT GIVE IN UNTIL THEY GET THIS THROUGH THERE THICK SKULL... REMEMBER WHOS IN CHARGE....THAT WOULD BE YOU....YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE THEM BELIEVE YOU...GOOD LUCK .....



I HAVE A TODDLER TOO 2 THIS SAME THING WORKS FOR THEM

TERRIABLE TWO AND ADOLESANCE ARE ALOT ALIKE....

Lonna - posted on 09/27/2009

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I have found that the hardest age is 16 and 17. Especially with girls and I have 4 of them!!! My son was a breeze. That's cause girls have hormones, attitudes, and are emotional roller coasters! The one thing I comfort myself with is that when the girls get married, guess which mom they're calling first... that's right HER mom, not his. Her parents get priority. Meanwhile, pray for patience, guidance and just plain old ask for help!!! I always love my daughter(s) but there are many days I don't like her. Hang in there. She'll grow out of it, after all, we did. Didn't we? LOL

Lynda - posted on 09/27/2009

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My friend, whose children are grown and parents themselves, once told my that God made teenagers with terrible attitudes so that when the leave for college, military or just life, we moms wouldn't miss them so much. She said that now that her daughter and her had a wonderful relationship that she could admit that she was almost relieved when Michelle moved out.

I also have to remember that when remember how emotional and irrational I was as a teenager. I have to remember that when my boys are are acting like unruly teenagers that soon they will be be out of the house, and I will no longer be able to help them become good, honest men. I also (sometimes unsuccessfully) to stop & pray before I respond to my emotional teenage boys. Good Luck, Kisha! Just try to be the best mom you can be every day.

Lynda - posted on 09/27/2009

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My friend, whose children are grown and parents themselves, once told my that God made teenagers with terrible attitudes so that when the leave for college, military or just life, we moms wouldn't miss them so much. She said that now that her daughter and her had a wonderful relationship that she could admit that she was almost relieved when Michelle moved out.

I also have to remember that when remember how emotional and irrational I was as a teenager. I have to remember that when my boys are are acting like unruly teenagers that soon they will be be out of the house, and I will no longer be able to help them become good, honest men. I also (sometimes unsuccessfully) to stop & pray before I respond to my emotional teenage boys. Good Luck, Kisha! Just try to be the best mom you can be every day.

Lynda - posted on 09/27/2009

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My friend, whose children are grown and parents themselves, once told my that God made teenagers with terrible attitudes so that when the leave for college, military or just life, we moms wouldn't miss them so much. She said that now that her daughter and her had a wonderful relationship that she could admit that she was almost relieved when Michelle moved out.

I also have to remember that when remember how emotional and irrational I was as a teenager. I have to remember that when my boys are are acting like unruly teenagers that soon they will be be out of the house, and I will no longer be able to help them become good, honest men. I also (sometimes unsuccessfully) to stop & pray before I respond to my emotional teenage boys. Good Luck, Kisha! Just try to be the best mom you can be every day.

Rosemary - posted on 09/27/2009

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I have a teenager to ,who also likes to have the last word,its tough going, keep your sense of humour,walk away and dont let her see you getting mad,because thats the reaction she wants.

Rosemary - posted on 09/27/2009

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I have a teenager to ,who also likes to have the last word,its tough going, keep your sense of humour,walk away and dont let her see you getting mad,because thats the reaction she wants.

Janice - posted on 09/27/2009

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I have heard that teenage girls and their moms can be at odds with each other. We love our children, but there are times, we don't like what say or do! Tell her to watch her mouth, show some respect, you are her mom, not her best friend!

Tammy - posted on 09/26/2009

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my daughter is 15 and one day is my best friend then the next day she looks and talks to me like i discuss her....its crazy and confusing...i wont time to fly for the next 5 years lol

Leslie - posted on 09/26/2009

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i didn't think of that yeah either record her voice and let her hear how she sounds to you or video tape her and she may realize how she is acting with her attitude with you Good luck

Faith - posted on 09/26/2009

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We are always told by our parents that I hope you have a child just like you, and low and behold we do, but we don't see it as a reflection of our former self. I was always told the saying, I love you but I don't always like you. So don't feel bad about feeling this way. Tried telling her how you feel? Tried treating her with the same mouth as she gives to you? Video tape her and let her watch it, let her see what she looks like and how she acts. The moody, harmones suck at that age don't they....

Leslie - posted on 09/26/2009

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hi my name is leslie....I know exactly what your saying,I have 2 teenagers well one is now adult but she is slow for her age,but anyways Both my kids thinks they have to have the last word or have something to say back,mainly my son,my son don't like to listen when it comes to use telling him what he can't do or when we say no,I get very frustrated cause he reminds me alot of me when I was his age,and i do feel like he's my pay back cause I was same way with my Mom,but my Mom told me one year she feels bad that I am going through this alot with him,but I have my son in counseling and I have learn when We say something first time we leave it at that and if he tries to carrie on about it we ignore and tell him we said no and thats final yeah he gets mad but then later drops it or leaves to his room frustrated,and come back say mom sorry and except what we had said to him.I think most teenagers goes through..try like taking something that she loves most and take it from her and explain to her she can have it back when she knows and understand what she is doing wrong.hang in there she knows you love her,but don't back down...you cave in easy she will see that and continue on with the last word.

Rochelle - posted on 09/26/2009

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hahaha..sounds like my daughter...shes great in all aspects!!but ya we do get into it and Ive learned from her that its when I say something she doesnt wanna hear..they lash out..and also I think that they get like this to to build a type of seperation between parent and child..so when it comes time for them to leave the home..we want to push them out a little and not be completley devistated there gone..we find a little relief..haha I at least tell myself thats a natural process they go through to make that seperation..its rough..her and I were always so close..im a single mom and have givin her everything shes needed..and to have them treat you that way..feels like a kick in the face.i know..but its nice to see we all go through it! we r not alone

Catherine - posted on 09/25/2009

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Kisha, when my daughter was 16 I thought, she was dr. jeckel/mr heide, She called me the "B" name and I just went off - I had to take her to the hospital because I thought I hurt her. I threw her across the room and she hit a tv stand. I felt so bad that I hurt my daughter and the police was called and he asked me what happen and I told him and he said I understand. I guess what I want to say, she will grow up to be a lady who speaks her mind and you will just have to love her for who she is, because all of the kids now days seem to say what they feel and do not care at the time. My daughter has a daughter of her own now, and I love watching her(daughter) get into a conversation with someone because of what my granddaughter says. Now my friends just set back and watch and do a lot of praying for yourself to get through the teenage years, because it do not get better because they become moms, than new worries. God Bless

Jana - posted on 09/23/2009

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It is pretty clear that we are all facing the same challenges regardless if you are raising a girl or boy. The key is to not 'engage'. Don't let them suck you into their moods and frustrations. They just need to know we are their for them. I try and concentrate on what many of you have already acknowledged deep down you have great young adults emerging. Keep positive, keep looking for the positive, keep speaking the positive. Ignore the negative as much as possible. Your kids need you to not give up!!!!!

Angela - posted on 09/22/2009

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It's okay to not like the child you love, she's going through a faze. She's maturing & in the next few years she will learn to love & understand you as her mother & her role model. Right now, just try not to hurt her:)

Tamara - posted on 09/21/2009

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I can relate to this totally, I have a 16 yr old daughter and a 14 yr old son as well as a 4 month old son, most of the time my daughter and i dont get along at all, if she doesnt get her way she just runs away.

Lora - posted on 09/21/2009

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You know I totally think it is pay back for what we put our Mothers through. My daughter is 17 1/2 and I went through a time when I sometimes couldn't stand her even though I loved her. Now we are very close and I love spending time with her. Hang in there it will get better just let her know you will always be there for her.

Teaque - posted on 09/20/2009

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I have a 16 year old daughter I know exactly how you feel.On top of that I have 13 yr old twin girls.Sometimes they all have the attitude that makes me want to pull my hair out.I guess we just have to take it one day at a time.keep praying and hope they grow up and move out.lol.

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DeDe i am so so sorry for your loss,i love my daughter heart and soul and i just couldnt imagine life without her...god bless you sweetheart x

Raquel - posted on 09/19/2009

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i hear ya! same here. but i think it has to do with the trust she has on you. she knows no matter what she says, you love her anyways. and if you don't like her at times, just remember the feeling migh be mutual.. I dont think it has to do with pay back. it's just that teenagers are so expose to things and some of the respect we had back then is gone. influences are the main part. next time just tell her she needs to learn how to keep her mouth shut...PERIOD. I do it all the time. Some girls especially don't know when to shut thier mouths, tell her it is so unattractive and takes away from her beauty. good luck.

Mary - posted on 09/18/2009

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Dear Kisha,



You are not alone. I to have a daughter with similar issues. My husband says I don't make her work hard enough for her stuff, when we were kids no was no and that was the end of that if I even said so to my mom, boy did I get it. What I have been doing is meaning what I say, and that seems to be helping also, I do not give her an audience I just ignore her and when ever she wants those must have boots I remind her of her behavior.

Jennifer - posted on 09/18/2009

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OMGosh--as I am reading this--I am thinking--this is me!!! My dughter is also 16 and she would give you the last shirt that she owns!! She volunteers with horses and handicap children. They all LOVE her and tell me all the time how wonderful she is. And I wonder--is this my child?? I just had this conversation with my husband--sometimes I really can't stand her. I feel bad for saying this, but it's true. Her mouth and attitude towards her father and I--and sometimes her 14 year old brother is horrific. And as for respect??? Never--she says she doesn't have to respect me---I'm nobody but a lazy, fatbutt person. Then tomorrow she will apologize up and down and be my sweet angel that I raised. Scary.......

Kristi - posted on 09/18/2009

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Kisha, it sounds like you have my daughter's twin. lol. She is my first of three. My, now 16 year old, daughter went thru early puberty and my 2nd girl will be 14 in November. We have had many trials in our home and they try to run it all. I did find it funny when my 16 yr old asked me why my 14 yr old is so cranky and mean all of a sudden. lol. I told her that this is just a stage in life. All I can say is just hang in there. If you can see the good that you have instilled in her then don't worry. God will work it all out. It just takes time. I'm not sure how long, lol, but it will be okay and she will know that she can depend on her mom no matter what.

Talea - posted on 09/17/2009

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While I do not have a daughter of my own I have helped raise one. I love her dearly, she is smart, absolutely beautiful, very giving towards her younger siblings, and totally loyal to those she loves, until you comment on her choice in a boyfriend (he has become verbally abusive and past experience and from what she has said about his temper I worry (lived through it myself) though her grandparents love him to death). She is also STUBBORN, hot headed, and the MOUTH! I can totally relate, unfortunatly I can see sooooo much of myself in her at that age. I want to scream at her sometimes for not listening, but she has lately cut me off as I have objected to her boyfriend one to many times. I'm still here though because I love her with all my heart. I pray a LOT! I think part of it is their age (she is 15), part of it is they want to be independent. I miss the baby girl sometimes, lately I worry about the young woman I see her becoming and I don't want her to make the same mistakes.....I don't know what to tell you other than you aren't completely alone. :)

Shannon - posted on 09/17/2009

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Kisha...wow do I know what you are going through. There are days my 16 year old is the light of my life and the next I would like to strangle her!!! Now I have a 14 year old hot on her heels that not quite as vocal and snotty, at least not with me. If I make it through all 3 of my girls ( the youngest is 9) I will be amazed!!

Her laziness, attitude and sense of entitlement is almost more than I can take. If she is not being snotty or has an attitude she is not saying ANYTHING!!! It seems like the only time she is being nice....she wants something, usually money for something. My mother-in-law tells me all the time "just wait til they are gone, then you will appreciate them"....we will wait and see!! :)

Zandria - posted on 09/17/2009

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I think most teenagers can get mouthy at one point or another. I think you need to choose your battles. Is this way all the time oro just occassionally? If it really bad try talking to him. I have a son that you can scream at him while he is running off at the mouth and you can tell he is not hearing you. But if I wait and talk to him over dinner or the best time is while we are watching tv together. Even if I am not watching the same show , just go in and sit with him and patiently wait till commercial. Then tell him ( you have about 2 minutes) how you feel, how you think his behavior is unacceptable and how it is NOT they way you want your house to be run. If you run out of time sit and wait for another commercial break. Dont huff and puff just look like you are interested in what he is watching. when another commercial comes on pick up the conversation where you left off. Dont show anger just talk to him. If he tries to respond let him until the show comes back on. tell him "hold up the shows back on" You will be surprised by the results. what ever you do dont do this every day and don"t let it go on past one tv show. you don"t want to burn your bridges. I found this works great with my mouthy one. let me know if it works for you

Chris - posted on 09/17/2009

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Kisha are you sure I didn't write this for you. OMG Sound's like my daughter. She is one tough cookie. If I acted the way my daughter acts to me to my mother I would have had my teeth knocked out for sure. It's the toughest thing I have had to do this being a mother to a teenage daughter thing. My son is so loving to be he is 19 months younger then my daughter. I think their acting this way is kind of like they are testing the waters to see how far they can push and to see if they can manipulate the situation. I think my daughter wants to be the dominant female in the house which is the case for many teenage girls. They are learning what is and is not acceptable and we are who they use to test their stratagies for relating to other females. I think they gage our reactions and learn from them. Sometimes I let her win and sometimes I don't but I think they are learning from how we react to what they say and do. I wish I could react positivly each and every time but it's hard when they push when you are crabby or tired.

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I have a son to and he is the same way got to have the last word I alway said when is it going to get better he turn 17th today he go to school and works part time a good kid no drugs no smoking and in the house by 9:00 pm we bdid a great job but the mouth my mother said I was a good child and my husband mother said he was a good child I think because I told all my brother & sister how bad there child were what goes around came back to me

Sweety - posted on 09/16/2009

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I totally agree with all u mothers i myself am going thru hell with my 12yr old as she thinks she i sixteen already she wants to dress up like her mom the whole time and at times she really looks funny and the worse is that my 6yr old wants to immitate her in every way the other day she asked me that why i dont't alow her to wax as her older sister is allowed.

Ana - posted on 09/14/2009

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Quoting Kisha :

Help, I have a 16 year daughter and sometimes I really don't like her.....

I love her to death. She's my first born and a very beautiful and intelligent young lady. I must say, I did a great job in raising her. She's very considerate and have a heart of gold, will help anyone in need. Okay, that's all the good stuff. The main problem I have is her mouth. She has to have the last word, and it kills me. And she is so moody. Sometimes, I just want to knock out all her teeth..lol. i ask myself, was i like this with my mother when i was her age?
Having a teenage daughter is the ultimate payback for all the things I put my mother through.lol.....



Sounds like my daughter... I don't have an answer. But wanted to let you know you're not alone. I just remind my daughter of the lack of respect she has, and how It is not acceptable....I have to walk away from her just to give her time to chill out. Or it gets worse. When she does,...then I talk her through,  of what ever the problem really is...and then take everything away! There is consequences to her behavior. I can't wait till she gets a clue....as I. Pay back is harsh, huh. (Sorry Mom)



Ana

Tammy - posted on 09/14/2009

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wow, i have the same problem. my 16 yr old son, first born is the same. can be sweet but man alive, his mouth makes me sound like my mother, i brought you in this world and i can take you out! how in the world did a precious baby turn into a nightmare??

Susan - posted on 09/14/2009

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I tell my daughters that ALL THE TIME! If I talked to my parents the way they do to me, I'd be DEAD! No doubt about it.

Susan - posted on 09/14/2009

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WOW! You and I are in the SAME boat!! I also have a 16 year old daughter and I have ALL those feeling on a daily basis.

I think it's just the age and their age of 'discovery'.

I personally have a double wammy with also having a 13 year old daughter who walks in her sister's shoes OFTEN.

...........SO GLAD I'm not the only one going through such a tough time with their teen.

Somedays I do feel like I'm the only one, but seeing the comments below, I see a group of those going through it as well.

Vera - posted on 09/14/2009

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i thought i was the only one ,but u have to still love her because you going to need her to come to you when she need to talk and i mean talk about boysss so try i say try to deal with it . hopfully when she turn 17 things will change. good luck girl!!!

Sherry - posted on 09/14/2009

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lolololol!!! She is exactly you and your mom wished her on you!!! My daughter is only 13 and it is the same thing - I even called my mom a couple of times and apologized for how i was growing up - Just try to remember what your mom did for you that worked or dont do what didnt work for you!! Not that it helps much - except my mom started to hum and ignore me when i started mouthing off and it really ticked me off - I do it to my daughter and it angers her enough where she will stomp off to her room and slam her door - I look at it like this - I kinda had the last word cuz i am still humming and it got her to leave me alone with some peace and quiet!!!!~!!!!

[deleted account]

I feel your pain! I have a 17 year old who is just coming out of that phase and a 15 year old just starting it! The one quote that has brought me through the first and will get me through the second is "God gave us teenagers so we could bear to let our babies go."

Good luck and let her have the last word in the end your word is law anyway!

Tiffaney - posted on 09/14/2009

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GIRL! I know your pain. Pretty much there is nothing you can do with her. She has to grow out of it. Until then I suggest you work on yourself. Take a yoga class, get a massage, treat yourself silly to help deal with the stress the girl gives to you. I have 5 boys and one girl and I swear I'd take 5 two year old boys over one teenage girl. lol... Good luck. I love mine to death too but boy getting past the teens with them is a true challenge worthy of Christ himself.

Veronica - posted on 09/14/2009

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oh that is too funny!! I sooooooo feel the same way about my daughter she is 15..and her attitude sometimes. uugh I look at her sometimes and am like is this my daughter? its so draining because I talk to her and I think she gets it then she does or says something that just floors me...I agree on the payback. I now say what my dad said to me at that age remember this day when you have kids of your own.

Heidi - posted on 09/14/2009

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Ifeel your pain!My daughter is gonna be 17 in Dec. and believe me we have our rounds.I have to say thatsometimes I wander if someone snatched her brain!lol

Kimberly - posted on 09/14/2009

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Wow I really was thinking I was the only one with these problems with my girls. I have 3 that are 11,14 and 17...I too feel the same way about them as you do Kisha. I know they are good students honor roll, but they drive me nuts.

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