Help!! My 12 year old son is Soooo Rude and Disrespectful to me,

Tia - posted on 09/01/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 12 year old son is so rude and disrespectful to me, up until dad gets home. Everything I do and say is an argument. I am soo tired of fighting with him:( I dont done how to stop this. Everyday is a fight. He twists my words, than calls me a liar. He manipulates every conversation until i get so upset I am yelling at him, than manipulates it into being my fault he is mad. I feel hopeless with this kid.

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Heather - posted on 09/02/2011

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I had the same issues with one of my boys and we did seek counseling. The one greatest thing you have to know here is that he is the "CHILD" You are the "PARENT", It is difficult but do not get into the power struggle with your son. If you ask him to do something or tell him to get off video game or something and he doesn't, take it away. Don't get in a verbal struggle with him either. If he says something that is twisted from what you said you can always reply "Well that is not what I meant when I said that, this is...." If it gets to the point where you want to scream at him. Walk away, recompose yourself and come back to him fresh.

These are only general suggestions but if you are in a power struggle and you are feeling that he disrespects you, you have to regain control as the parent.

2 questions, Is he your biological son? and How respectful is his Dad when he is around you both?



Dad and you need to present a single front. If things happen, when your husband is around then he should also approach your son about these behaviors.

Alisha - posted on 09/28/2012

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My 12 year old son is home - schooled. He is calm and shows respect to others but when it comes to me and his sisters (7 and 5) it is totaly different. He is rude and disrespectful. If asked to do something, he says wait a minute or hold on. If I say do it now please he gets all upset and cries and pitches a fit. He tries to play dad when it comes to his sisters and thinks he has all the right in the world to tell them what to do. He is a very smart child but claims he cant do his work when I have seen him do it and know that he can. He has been like this for years with me and I have tried taking computer, video games and tv. I have also tried sending him to his room and nothing that I do seems to work. When his dad gets home from work his attitude changes somewhat for the better. If he is rude with me dad will speak up and tell him that I should get the same respect that he does. I am so lost and need to figure out what to do.

Ramona - posted on 09/02/2011

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First off, don't get sucked into the arguement, it takes two to argue. If you tell him to do something, he does it or there is no x-box, goes to bed early, etc....The fact he respects his dad and not you means your hubby has to back you up. But, the most important thing is you can't change his behavior right away, but you can change yours!

Marlene - posted on 09/02/2011

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Perhaps it is time to consider therapy for both of you. You do need to sort this out. He needs to know how to treat a woman with respect and at the moment his doing it all wrong. This could lead to problems in future relationships he has. For your and his sake address this now. Good luck.

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