Help please *sobbing*

Kenya1227 - posted on 01/25/2017 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is 19 , just moved out last week. He left me his old phone to sell and I was I was deleting things ofc there was a ping. His messenger was still active on other phones. I know I shouldn't have but I read the text. He was telling his girl he has a crush on that he took his cat to the vet today by himself and had to put her down and his parents couldn't be bothered so it was left to him. Then he came home and we did nothing to help, no box or to help dig. We took our cat to the vet, 1,100 to find out she has cancer. My husband and I put her down, we are heartbroken.we dug a hole not him. He then tells her that he wanted to ride his bike but that we complain about him riding at 2 am when he gets off work, se we took a pin out of the chain. We did not.

I am soooooo hurt that he is lying about us. What should I do? I am in tears :( I know what I did was wrong and I am afraid to confront him for fear he will get mad and quit speaking to me but I am so hurt I can't put it aside right now. Please help me

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Debra - posted on 02/01/2017

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I agree that it sounds like he really wants some sympathy or attention from this girl. He may be just doing whatever he can to gain her attention - be reaching out in any way that he can to get that.
If you think he would be open to hearing you, I might suggest asking if he would be open to talking to a counselor to work through things.
Try not to take it personally (though I too would be feeling so hurt and broken!). It does not likely have anything to do with you personally, but only to do with his self-esteem and relationship or desires to have a relationship with this girl.
If you have other reason to refer him/talk to him about a counselor, I would work hard to let the content of the txt/IM go, and just focus on helping him find a therapist/counselor that can help him feel good enough about himself to work on telling the truth.
Hang in there!!

Chippererica10 - posted on 01/30/2017

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It sounds like your son was trying to get sympathy. He likely wanted consoling from this girl but wanted to sound more masculine about it all. HAve you tried asking him why he said that?

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