High Honors student tells a lie

Dan - posted on 04/27/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My problem is diffiecult. We require good grades at our house .. but Not outstanding. ..that's a personal choice. My daughter has ALWAYS chosen to be a high honors student, and gets a lot of freedom because of it. She has always organized and planned ALL her schoolwork as well as any adult (since 6). We love her very much.

She and I made a deal long ago that we would never lie to each other. She is 13 now, and tonight she lied to me and I caught her. Her cell phone is to be on the charger every night ... but she took it to bed then lied when I noticed it was not on the charger. The phone was on instagram ... she had posted nothing ..not good, not bad, nothing. But others had plenty of F bombs in there for her to read. Her mom came downstairs and called me plenty of names for letting that happen on my watch.

My daughter is a sweet kid, who is stuck on the outside of a nasty click of pompous Catholic girls at her school primarily because she befriended (until recently) a kid we love .. but who has behaviors that would exclude her from most girl-clicks. My daughter ended up excluded by association and I think her phone is substitute for the real friendships she so desires.

also lately she has been taking after her mom .. who has had a life long anger management problem ... and is angered by ... almost anything (and we suffer all the normal "trimmings" to go with that) . I went to therapy and she wouldn't come. After a few sessions the therapist said the wrong person was coming to therapy ... and that she could not help unless my wife came... this did not happen.

I have to take her phone away because she lied to me, but how and when does she get it back? That's the question I"m pondering.

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