How can I get my husband to treat me as an equal?

Keli - posted on 03/22/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I gave him everything, let him move in, supported him, helped him start a company, put his name on my home and land, gave him a wonderful son. And now I have some medical problems and cannot work anymore so I am a sahm. I have no idea how much money our company has, or how much he has, I have to ask for a check weekly with which I pay bills, buy food, take care of the home, and I barely have enough to do it all. My medicine is about 600.00 a week and my utilities are about 1,000.00 a mnth and car and insurance 800.00. So he gives me 1000.00 a week and I have to bug him for it and it seems like Im always broke.He has money hidden and I found some, there was 4,000 dollars. I have none. He makes me feel like such a burden and like I am a child who cannot be trusted to have anything, and I dont deserve anything. What can I do?

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Raye - posted on 03/24/2015

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You get him to treat you as an equal by demanding to be treated as such. A SAHM is a job, you're not just lounging around, plus you are paying the bills for the household, which includes his use of utilities, his eating the food, his lifestyle. You need to sit down together and straighten it all out. My ex and I had $4000 saved in a joint account for home emergency expenses (furnace, water heater, etc.). Have you asked him what the $4000 was for? If he's stashing away money without a good reason, then maybe he's not secure in the relationship. So, you both need to work on feeling secure and provided for in the relationship (both financially and emotionally). Counseling is probably a good idea.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/23/2015

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Marriage and financial counseling may be helpful

Trisha - posted on 03/23/2015

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My suggestion? Start getting him to pay the bills. Supervise it like crazy, to make sure it is done, but make him get head first into the budgeting, so he understands the stress.

My husband is the big spender in this house (or used to be) so he is responsible for all those things. He budgets the household, comes with me for grocery shopping. He knows what is required to make the house run. If we are getting short on cash for some reason, he either finds the money, or goes and gets more work so we can afford what we need/want.

K - posted on 03/22/2015

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What an ungrateful animal your husband is. I'm sure if you had known before you wouldn't have him moved in.
I can only suggest that you pray that he changes his awful ways. You deserve much better.

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