How do I get rid of my 16 yr old daughters boyfriend???

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

My daughter is 16 years old and has been dating this boy for a few months now. He is generally a good kid; returns all of her phone calls, is very respectful to me and her, follows the rules etc. The only problem I have is he has no desire to do any better than where he is in life. No ambition for anything but to just get by in life. Like every mother I have bigger dreams for my daughter than to just get by in life. How do I get her to move on without hating me???

3 Comments

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Sherry - posted on 10/01/2012

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You don't. Let it run its course and gtfo of her business. She's not being hurt, and neither is he. I see no reason to mess with it if they're both happy.

Francine956 - posted on 09/14/2012

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I agree with Amanda. Teenage girls have so many things going on during these years, including boys. From my experience it will pass. The more you make comments and tell her you want more for her will only keep her with him longer just to prove you wrong. As a mother of four teenagers, 2 girls & 2 boys, I can say with confidence that the best thing to do is be supportive, listen without judgement, and offer advice only when asked. And when you give the advice think of your answer from a teenagers perspective, ask her questions to let her discover the answers. That way she will feel like she made the decisions based on what she thought/felt even though you "planted the seed" so to speak. I am so blessed to have developed a strong relationship with my teens, but it was only because of the hard word I put into it. Believe me it was not easy and there were times when I had to be the hated parent. However, the greatest reward is when one of your children, in my case my 19 year old daughter, came to me and said," I know it was stupid when I didn't listen to you and did what I wanted. because you were right but I just didn't want to see it then, I'm sorry for those hard times." So the bottom line is it will be hard, but it will definitely be worth it!

Amanda - posted on 09/14/2012

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I think your best bet is to wait it out. Teenagers change so much between 16 and 18. Keep her active with her girl friends and support her relationship choices. It's hard being a mom of a daughter. I had to watch my daughter last year go through a horrible relationship but his true side came through in the end. She is a senior now and very busy. I wish you the best of luck. I hope this helps.

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