How do I help my daughter move on from sexually confused boy

Helen - posted on 04/29/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

7

0

2

I am at a total loss! My daughter is 17 years old. She started dating a boy when she was 14, and he was 18. He was a very immature kid, never dated before, and we knew the family very well. He was a nice kid actually. We NEVER thought it would last, gave it less than a month, tops, especially with him starting college. We took a ton of heat from our family and community for letting them date. Little did we know, it lasted two years, with two break ups along the way. We have recently found evidence that the boy is likely gay and was using our daughter as a cover. She was "safe" because carefully monitored, and he is more manipulative than we ever dreamed. We have forbidden them to get back together as she wants to, desperately. She has plenty of boys who are interested in her, but wants this one—it is LOVE. We told her she could not date him until she is 18, and she is waiting. They still communicate constantly, and I feel completely like she will not listen or see the obvious staring her in the face. I saw a text to her about a year ago that said, "it sure seems like your feelings changed for me after I told you I was confused about my sexuality." She has also found notes he wrote to himself saying he is not attracted to her.

3 Comments

View replies by

Cherish - posted on 05/02/2013

2

0

1

yes its very over whelming when u feel ganged up on, she will eventually learn although it might take longer than you want. Maybe you could try talking to his mom, couldnt hurt.

Helen - posted on 05/01/2013

7

0

2

We have talked endlessly. He has told her he is questioning his sexuality, and she saw in his Internet history that he had google "twink" images, which I learned is a specific look for a gay male, but images where pornographic that he was viewing. I saw the text about questioning, and she made an excuse that his mom put the idea in his head because of his anxiety. The googling he said he wanted to compare his penis size because he thought he was small. Geez, and she believed him? Can she really be that blind? I did not raise her to be that naive. She believes what she wants to believe I guess. The more I talk about these thing the more I become the enemy and it is them against me. It is very scary.

Cherish - posted on 05/01/2013

2

0

1

Talk to her, you need to explain to her why she cant have him,. Forbidding her will only make her want it more. I have twin 14 year old girls and we sit and Talk it always solves the solution.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms