how do I help my step son with anger issues?

Liz - posted on 12/31/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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my step son is 9 and I have been married to his dad for a year and a half and we have a good relationship but I have noticed some surfacing anger issues with my step son when he comes to our house for our parenting time. when he first gets to our house it takes him a couple days to not be so angry and by the end of the visit he is back to his old self. Not sure what the problem is. He is very protective of his biological mother which doesnt help and limits us from knowing what is going on but Im just concerned about the anger issues getting worse as he gets older.
If anyone has some advise please reply..Thank you,

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Lakota - posted on 12/31/2012

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I'm not sure if he has anger issues if he is able "to get back to his old self". What do you mean by anger issues? Is he yelling at you and his dad? Is he threatening to use, or has he used any violence against you or his dad? Those are anger issues. "He is very protective of his biological mother which doesnt help and limits us from knowing what is going on..." Why is he put in a position to be protective of his mother at your house in the first place? Maybe he gets back to his old self at the end of the visit because he's getting ready to go back home. He may not be over the divorce and/or his dad getting married again. Kids are resilient but it does take them a lot of time to be ok with things they have no control over. You and your husband need to talk with him instead of at him and really listen to what he's saying. Stop making him have to defend his mother.

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