How to stop wanting another baby

Priscilla - posted on 08/18/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am 33 with 3 boys (15, 13 & 10). I've been married for 13 years and together for 15. . . I had my first son unplanned at 17 years old. After he was born, we planned to continue our family because we wanted our kids to grow up close together. I’ve always wanted 3 kids and my husband wanted 6. He loved when I was pregnant and always thought it was the sexiest time ever.
After having my third son, my husband didn't want any more. He thought three was plenty enough emotionally, physically and financially. But I continued to desire more. I would set deadlines like "if we don't have another by the time the baby is 5, we will have no more". It kept changing and was lastly "if we don't have another by the time he's 10, we're done"... He is now over 10 and I still have that desire.
My oldest son will be taking drivers ed. as a high school sophomore very soon. But I can't help but want a baby. Is it because my babies are growing up and I am feeling that empty nest creeping around the corner?..
Over the past few years (as my boys and I get older) the desires have been much stronger. I have felt like these past years, I am more ready, mature, responsible, wiser and smarter to raise a child than when I was forced to grow up and take responsibility at 17. But is it fair to my boys? To change their lives now.. We live such busy lives as all 3 boys are very active in different sports throughout the year. But there are times when I am on the side lines as the boys play and my husband coaches that I think, it would be a perfect time to raise another child. To do it all over again…
My husband and I have had so many discussions about it. He is on board if that is what I want. But I just don't know if it's right for my half grown family. I do long for a little girl but never put much thought into the next baby being a girl. Am I just feeling lonely because my boys are at that age where they don't need mom like they used to?... Do I really want a new baby to practically grow up as an only child? Will I regret not having more children?.. How can I overcome this feeling? Please help.

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Wolfsdenllc - posted on 08/19/2015

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One word.... and it will mean more to someone than anything else you could do... well ok.. a couple words... FOSTER or Adopt! How long before you have grandkids? You're now what, 32 33? in 19 years you will be 51 52?? By then your 15 year old will have kids running around most likely, your "me" time for you and your husband wont begin till mid 50's at best, and by then, your body will start to fall apart, you're both looking at the short side for retirement, etc... My oldest daughter is about your age with 3 kids and having a blast with them, and is still young enough and healthy enough to enjoy it, but her youngest is only a couple years old, so she has a long time to go before she's out of school. The other two are young teenagers... In the words of Bruce Willis from The Last Boyscout, 'Get a dog'

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