I am havimg such a very hard time with my 15 year old son he has stolen our bill money,i talked with an officer at his school that did not work out like I thought it would, I have tried all types of counseling for my son nothing is working for him my hands are tied I do not know what to do I am out of options

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Jamie Leary - posted on 01/30/2014

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I understand your issue and have watched it for years. Not by my children but by my brother and my parents. He started off with money now he is 37 and still does it. Not just money anymore but like lawn equipment or metal or food, anything. My parents never did anything they just got over it everytime. You need to report him to the police. File a police report. Press charges. This is true Tough Love.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/30/2014

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Report him for theft, and have him prosecuted.

Renee - posted on 01/30/2014

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I was that same kid.. I robbed my mom blind and she wouldn't tell my dad until one day he found out about everything... next step was a hard one.. It's called tough love!!! They sent me to jail .I was in cya for a year and a half, and trust me, I didn't steal after that!!

Sarah - posted on 01/30/2014

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think you should go old school and whip his ass, he is stealing for you because he doesn't respect you !!!! you are going to have to put the fear of god into him.

do not let him get over with excuses, punish him and make it fit the crime..... i stole 20 dollars from my mother, she whopped my ass and then took what i bought (a CD) . .And that was the only thing i got for Christmas..... i never stole again

Ana - posted on 01/29/2014

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also, when his friends called the house, i'd let him know that there is a new way that you answer the phone.....

you: hello?
them: is your son there?
you: yes he is, but due to him sealing bill money from me, he cannot come to the phone until he works it off, goodbye!

he will be shamed at home and in community until he gets that he isn't gonna steal!

I would use this as an option if he becomes resistant to the first changes of life..

Ana - posted on 01/29/2014

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Well,

Beating him is not the answer. If he stole from you then he now needs to work for things that he gets from you AND he needs to be told to his FACE that you do not trust him anymore with money.

First off...

The amount of money that he stole, he would work off. If it was 100.00, he would be able to earn 2.00 for every extra thing that he did in the house until it was paid off. I'd make sure that he worked for at least 3 months to pay it off. And he can't choose what he does or when he does it, it's up to you

All special purchases are cancelled until further notice. Meaning, no new clothes, shoes, or allowances. You will come home to eat or eat at school.
IF he was allowed to drive the car, that privilege has now been cancelled until further notice. His family birthday plans should be re-arranged. He will have a choice of a small 1 topping pizza and 1 friend to come over that day. NO gifts.

Curfew just rolled back 3 hours. IF it was 11 it is now 8.

He can have over 1 friend every week for a total of 1 hr in the living room. All privacy privileges have been cancelled until further notice.

He must do his own laundry, have an allotted time of 15 mins to eat dinner every night. If he is late, apple and water and bed. Breakfast is optional.

Special events at school have been cancelled until further notice. He must report home immediately after school within 1 hr of school letting out. IF late, there will be a HOST of consequences. He will be permitted to leave the home until curfew once he initially reports ON TIME...

I have a whole list of things like this to control someone who' is behaving like your son.

It's not the end of the world, he can be helped. But he must respect you. IF you take authority and make him realize his position in your home, there will be a better balance.

He stole from you because he knew your were weak and would not do anything about it, and he was right. Just saying. You can be strong, you came to the right place for techniques.

If he is completely resistant to any of your new rules for him (which you can ditch after 90 days if he improves and you test him by leaving money out for him to steal) then you let him know what your next step will be. I'd threaten to send him to counseling, I'd make him read me the definition of stealing and honor and honesty and respect every day, and i'd let him know that I'm not above putting him in a group home with more strict rules to control his behavior.

I'd just be the crazy momma that he would not want to mess with......

Turn the tables on him. Let him know that his decision to steal changed his home life until you feel better about it. Never give him dates, it gives him hope. Hope is to be crushed..he has to be broken down.. even though 90 days of this type of living could put him in the running for presidency!


if he turns around, then you back off...but he will always know your wrath......

mom of 2

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