I finally kicked out my 21 year old daughter.

Linds - posted on 10/05/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter has been lying, stealing ( at least 8,000 worth of my jewlery to pawn shops) taking my credit and debit cards, forging checks and had 4 arrests in 2 years. I have had her commited to a mental hospital after 2 attempted suicides where the Dr. said she really doesn't have anything wrong with her but MAY have borderline personality disorder but very likely just has impulse control issues. (very hard to treat) I have paid for counseling, meds that she didn't take but sold to others for money. I let her come back home telling her I would help her by supporting her with food, shelter and needs until she could get on her feet. She has a good job now but still decided to go into my purse without my permission, take my debit card and use it to buy herself a night out on the town. She is supposed to be saving her money to buy herself a car; she uses mine and I get rides from friends.

Just writing this makes me feel like a complete idiot. I can't believe what I have sacrificed for this child! I know I have bailed her out too often and too many times but she is her own worst enemy; following the wrong boyfriend and associating with very bad people. BTW: she is NOT addicted to drugs. Believe me, I wish it were that simple!

I have been a teacher for 26 years-a responsible adult and parent. Recently divorced but not one to neglect or ever set a bad example for my children. My youngest daughter is a freshman in college, honor student, works part time and an all-round great kid.

Please don't tell me that I have been a fool, I know that. Just tell me it is going to get better.

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Nicole - posted on 10/24/2012

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Wow, I feel like I have something pretty close. I have a 21 year old daughter that is away about 2 hours from my home and feels that I should pay for her an apartment, her car, her insurance, her health insurance, he cell phone, groceries, utilites and anything else she needs to pick up the phone to lie to me about. Yes, lies to get money and I have gotten smart but she still seems to work around it. She begged for $40 for haunted house knowing she had no money but wanted me to pay for it, Well I said NO! Well what did she do? Went to the ATM and got $60 to go to the haunted house and once again her account is overdrawn. A week prior, she over drew her acount $493 and of course I came to the rescue once again. Now she has changed her password and that leads me to believe she is pulling funds out that she does not have and I won't be giving her another dime. I begged her to come home and live for free, that is not good enough for her. So on Nov 1 her rent will be due and guess who is not paying it? Yep, me. She has abused us over thousands and thousands of dollars and now it comes to stop. I have no idea how she will pay her rent but I won't be doing it. She has a job but thinks that is her partying money and probably goes around telling ppl that we will pay well she is WRONG this time. We have 2 other kids in college and we don't deal with this with them.



Tough love is so hard. She has not called me yet but believe me she will text me and my hubby to cry about how she can't pay her bills I know I will be saying oh well. How much debt do I have to go into for her? Then her taking money from the ATM where she has none but they allow her to take it in the negative. If this cost me my relationship with her in order to get her to wake up, then it cost me my relationship with her. I am beyond hurt, disappointed, and sadden but her 5 year old attitude when it comes to be responsible. When does it stop?

Greta - posted on 10/09/2012

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Sometimes kids have to learn the hard way. And get at that point where they realize they need help.

Do try to stay in contact with her. Change your home locksand security system, protect yourself. It may get better, since she is out of the house as far as the daily drama goes.

It sounds like you might need a little break for yourself. Go away for awhile, and recoup, and recharge your own batteries.

Look into possible programs for your daughter to get into ahead of time, so that when she crashes you will know how to re-direct her.

Good luck, take time to pamper yourself!!

Danielle - posted on 10/09/2012

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Wow!!! Have you sought help from her Dad? It sounds like she is suffering from not having a Dad (or male role model in her life). She has to decide that she wants more for herself, and you can't do that for her.

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