I have a 14 year old daughter who has a severe problem with being on time and no sense of urgency when she is late, This has gone on for years and we have tried everything. She is almost failing 9th grade now because she is consistently late for school and they've take 15 points off each class. We have tried taking away her phone, she has had detention in school for this, I've met with her guidance counselor, and other school officials. Nothing is working...she is very smart and gets high grades. She says she likes school, is not being bullied etc. I don't know what to do

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L. - posted on 01/15/2015

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My 14 year old daughter is a straight A student with an off the charts IQ but can't eat her breakfast in less the 30 minutes. She gets to class on time but has to get up an hour and a half before time to leave for school or she would be late. When she has friends at the house they leave her at the table to finish eating because they are just tired of waiting on her. I can send her to her room to brush her teeth and an hour later she still has not done it. If we tell her to hurry she will actually go slower (I do know this is a teen power struggle think, but she has done it since she was 2). I am at a loss as to how to help her. I am really worried about her starting to drive and going off to college. I am not sure she can react fast enough to take care of herself.

Ines - posted on 06/23/2013

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My daughter is 14 and also always late and no sense of urgency. Talking is not working and the doctor explain me that when she is under pressure she kind of shut down and lost sense of time and also stop talking or socializing...I try not to push her but I understood so many years ago, that she needs to be reminded of schedule often. We have a system of time management provided by the school and even checking on her homework every day, she still forgets. It is difficult and I feel as a controlling mother but it has to be done! she knows that I am not her friend and we had talked about me been the time management guard. She doesn't like it but accepts it and we have a good mother-daughter relationship most of the time.
She feels good when she finishes her work on schedule and she is congratulated for her efforts.

Angie - posted on 02/18/2011

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Ask her why she is being late all the time and then give her a wake up call. Once a child is in high school, grades equal money. Colleges and scholarships will be looking at her grades when it's time for her to get a college education. The cut offs are rough. The highest level of scholarships are for students with 4.0. The next level is 3.75 to 4.0. After that the scholarship money gets thin. If she wants to go to college, she needs to take her grades seriously. It is time for her to start taking her education seriously.

Kahryn - posted on 12/01/2012

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I have a 23 year old daughter that continues her struggles with time management. She is living at home as she finishes up her Degree in Nursing. She works at a local hospital that requires a

12 hour shift. Her sleep schedule is so messed up...but I fault the Doctors for giving her pills

that now help her stay focused in the day and sleep eventually at night. She at such a young age is dependent on these drugs. She doesn't even know life without prescription medicine and her

sleep schedule is so off that she never sees daylight. Please do not let your kids get medication for anything. There are other ways around it. As a mom I have no say after 18.

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Nell - posted on 12/04/2014

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I have a daughter who is 12 who has always had this issue. I suspect it is a form of ADD. She has no urgency or sense of time but is very upset when she is late which is often. I found for a short time from age 10 to 11 1/2 that using an alarm clock for older people with reminders for pill taking and having her program her own voice saying "wake up", "do your hair", "time to eat", "you need to leave in 5 min" helped with the time management portion.

However, this year she refuses to use it and we're back to the same issue. I may require it's use soon. She still struggled but the time management portion was better. I really think it is an inability to understand the passage of time due to a difference in brain function. Those who seek to motivate with punishment or reward don't get that these kids if they are like mine WANT to be on time and don't know how. There is a difference in "not caring" and "not knowing".

MaryAnn - posted on 10/11/2012

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I too have a daughter, 14, who has a severe problem with being on time and no sense of urgency when she is late. She is an excellent student, but the words 'rush' and 'hurry' are not in her vocabulary. Since your post, have you found success in altering this behavior? No consequence affects her. It doesn't matter if she is late for school, church, or activities with friends, she just doesn't have a sense of urgency.

Louise - posted on 02/17/2011

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Sit down and chat with her why she is so late all the time. There must be a reason. My son used to dordle between classes and was always the last to arrive in class, this is because he hated school and really did not want to be there. Give her time to explain herself.

If it is just chatting in between classes then there is very little you can do about this. But you could try and bribe her to be on time with something she has wanted to do for a long time like, a shopping trip or hair treatment. Tell her if she can keep up to date with classes and get her grades up you will make sure she gets what she deserves and see if that makes any difference. Otherwise there is nothing you can do if she does not take up the challenge.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/09/2011

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Hmmm...my suggestion would to be you take the time to take her to school and make sure she's in her class. Generally, if she gets to school, does she make it to classes on time, or does she dawdle in between as well?
Have you had her evaluated for a possible medical issue?

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