i have a 20 year old and she askd me if her boyfriend could spend the weekend with her .what should i tell jer

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/25/2012

13,264

21

2015

Since you haven't already laid down house rules for living at home as an adult, I'd say the first thing you need to do is that!



Your daughter is an adult. If she wants to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, that's her decision, and her business. However, if you would rather that she didn't bring him home (because of younger siblings, or whatever), you'd darn well better make that clear now, and expect her to be gone for the weekend, spending it with her boyfriend.



If she's not living at home, and STILL asked your permission, then I'd say you have a very mature adult on your hands, and you need to gracefully give permission and then look the other way.

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Francine - posted on 10/25/2012

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0

5

You will need to be more precise for the advice you are looking for. You mention your daughter wants her boyfriend to spend the weekend with her. Is she still living at home? I will assume she is. Your daughter is now an adult, that's the first thing we need to remember as parents. Has she done anything to suggest the trust is not there anymore? Do you trust her boyfriend? Is she asking to sleep in the same room? Personally I don't see a problem with them sleeping in the same room but then again it is your house and you will need to make that decision, but remember if she wants to see him and you say no, she will do anything in her power to find a way to spend time with him and it will be behind your back.

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