I told my 18 year old son that he needed to move out by today!!!

Shortygal205 - posted on 08/29/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is 18 years old and I have been struggling with his behavior for 4 years now. He has been on the wrong track for quite some time now. I recently got married four months ago and moved in with my husband and his 20 year old daughter. Before all this took place my son, daughter (now 13) and I lived alone. My son has been a trooper in helping keep the house but at the same time he terrorizes his sister and the household. I would find liquor in his closet. He have made bad choices in life that landed him on probation. We have went to counceling and I thought we made some progress but now he is at it again. He plays music loud on his phone with cursing. I have repeatedly told him that is not permitted in our house but he does it anyway. He once told me I was a disgrace and everything was my fault with the police being called on him. I thought things had gotten better but low and behold he got back on that same on train and now we are at this place where I told him last night to leave. We now live with my husband and while my husband was at work, he decided to be mean to his sister. I had to work out some issues between all three of our children. Our 13 yrs old daughter, 18 year old son, and 20 year old step-daughter. It have worn me down. My husband has lymphomia and we are currently taking treatments. I have recently found out I have a medical problem which I dont care to discuss and my Sarcoidosis is in remission. We have been married for 4 months and I have yet to feel like I can exhale. My husband is supportive. According to my son, my suband told him he has been warned 2 times by me and the next time he will need to find him somewhere to go. I dont know what my son's problem is but his last strike was when he tried to close the bathroom door on me while I was telling him to turn his music down. If I hadnt put my foot in the door he would have smashed my hand. I am so tired of this behavior. All grown folks need their own house. I just got my two daughters to get along. Now this. It breaks my heart for my son to be put out but I cant take his jeckle and hyde behavior anymore. He is not working and goes to college. He wanted to sit out until next semester to save for him a car. I offered to help him get him one but as the bread winners of our house, my husband and I both need a vehicle. My son pays no bills. My step-daughter is now starting school also. I have explained to them both that my husband and I are the only one that runs our home. She would do sneaky stuff to start confusion. But I know God is hearing my prayers because of the strength I have to stay there. I know this wears on my husband as well. I drive 100 miles to work back and forth everyday because of the insurane and time I have been on my job that allows me to take off and go to treatment with my husband. I feel my blood pressure is up and I am just tired of all the drama. I told my husband when our youngest turn 18 we are going to be at our home ALONE. So when I go home today my son should be gone. I use to blame me for whatever his problem was but I wont carry that burden anymore. I told my husband he is an enable to his daughter because she has a car with no job or school but he listens to me and now she is going to school. I am proud of him for supporting me when I am trying to get our two grown adult kids to where they need to be in life-independence. My heart breaks over the fact that my son is being put out but I need to give him a wake up call. So much drama in thesee past four months of marriage that I cant even enjoy being married. I am just tired and need peace in my household. I know I may cry later but for right now I just wish I could be happy for just one complete week if I cant have the rest of my life.

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User - posted on 08/29/2012

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I am so sorry you are going through this. My son is turning 17 next month and for the past 2 years he has given me heartache and disappointments. Going from a very good kid and honor student to a dropping grades/hanging out/smoking pot and god knows what else. I have promised myself that at age 18 he is leaving the house. And I will stand by that. I have warned him since early this year so he has time to get it together. I have held off marriage until he is out of the house. If you feel in your heart this is the right decision, then do it. Sometimes it takes just that to give them a wake up call.

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Shortygal205 - posted on 08/29/2012

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@ Roohi, thanks so much for your care and concern. My heart goes out to you as well. I can honestly say I know how you feel. My son have been this way for several years now. He has been on probation for silly stuff. I dont know what his problem is but I refuse to take any blame for how he is turning out. He is 18 now and accountable. It is sad the system makes us put up with our children until they are that age and offers no solution to our problems. I will pray for the both of us. My sister has taken my son in and I am grateful to her for allowing him there bc atleast he is not on the streets. A mother's love runs deep but I will not tolerate the disrespect. I think it is affecting me more knowing that he can never live here again than me putting him out. Not sure if that makes any sense. I guess he have left the nest. I feel it is the right thing and my husband have stood by me. I hope he does wake up. He was jumping at me several times and laughing. Taunting me I guess but it will be ok. I told him this morning that I put him out with love and a prayer and that I pray he finds what it is he is looking for. It is so disappointing that it has come to this but it is what it looks like. I dont know if you can survive that long but I will pray that God gives you strength. Time isnt as long as it use to be. I have a 20 year old step-daughter that needs her own place as well. She is finally going to school. I pray she does go and doesnt pretend to be going bc my husband has taken out a small loan to help her with expenses. We owe our 13 yrs old daughter the same opportunity we have given the other two. I was going to put my marriage on hold as well because I didnt want to bring that evil spirit in this house but my step-daughter was already here. So my two and his one makes our three children. Well stay prayed up and I will do the same. I will be checking in on you from time to time to see how you are doing just keep praying please. Bringing kids into a marriage like ours can create friction between you and your mate if you dont have God. Trust me if he dont straighten up, 18 starts to looks really good on him. lol We all love our children but there is a stopping point before the breaking point I promise. Be blessed.

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