i would like to know what i could do to get my 13 year old daughter to think more about school and not about her boyfriend and what is a suitable time for her to go to sleep?

CHelsea - posted on 08/26/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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i would like to know what i could do to get my 13 year old daughter to think more about school and not about her boyfriend and what is a suitable time for her to go to sleep, any ideas please not be shy i am open to any ideas thanks.

here is my email if any one has a solution to my problem,

lovebug5922@gmail.com

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Patricia - posted on 08/26/2012

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Hi Love Bug:

I, too, have a 13 (14 in November) daughter that I allowed to have a boyfriend from Seotember of last year through just last weekend. Mind you, they just texted, had lunch at school, I took them to the movies 3 times (with his mom and I 10 rows behind them), we went to some plays with his entire family, the beach a few times, etc. I or his mother were ALWAYS present. I had told her she could experience what it felt like to communicate with a boy, learn how they think, have her first kiss with a nice boy she and I both liked, etc.

Well, she started attaching to him, getting clingy and possessive, git frustrated when he didn't text her "enough" his grades went downhill. Her's ironically were the best ever. Go figure! But she was in waaayyy too deep for 13 and I HAD TO BREAK THEM UP. I literally emailed the boy's mom and had to break them up last weekend. The Mom fully agreed, although her son is now experiencing depression, anxiety, anger and frustration that he no longer can text, email, call, or otherwise communicate with my daughter, so even on his side there is fall-out, hurt and sadness.

My vote is NO BOYFRIEND but the really sad part is with Facebook, private messages, cell phones, school time and lunch time at school she can HAVE BOYFRIEND without you even knowing she does. It's a no win for us Moms. My daughter just yelled at me last night "he is and always will be my boyfriend even if you broke us up" so there you go

I seriously think all 12-18 year old girls should get on birth control just because they are ALL SO STUPID, CAREFREE, AND HORMONAL! They don't get how important their grades are and their futures are as young women out in the demanding work world.

Maybe have your daughter volunteer at your church or get a babysitting job, get busy with a home project (painting her room, or your room) buy her a kitty or a small rescue dog; something to take her mind off boys. But I don't know if that's possible. Older girl (17 and up) good role models are also very good for her. I also need advice, too; it's never easy with boys or girls 12-18; it's all about themselves at this moment; not in the future.

Hang in there, Love Bug. You sound like a very caring, loving, smart lady. Keep fighting the good fight.

If you are at all religious, go to church for YOURSELF.

Pray about it; sometimes He will listen and guide you in a direction you have not thought about:)

Illiana - posted on 08/26/2012

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Honestly , im sure you have tried talking to her, if thats not helping i would begin to limit the time she spends with this boyfriend. My mother didnt allow me to have a boyfriend til i was 16 . Also i was not allowed to have boys come over whether to study or hang out . Have her turn off her cell phone at a certain time and leave it in a communal area .I have a 14 year old daughter and she and i get home around the same time. The rules are as follows. homework first , no if ands or buts. she has two hours for homework time. every day including fridays. after home work time she is allowed to have a friend over to hang out or computer /tv time . its her choice. She understands boyfriends are a distraction . I come from a family of drop outs , i was the first to graduate college , so she knows there is no choice for her when it comes to her education .

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Breann - posted on 08/26/2012

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One suggest is to offer her rewards for good grades. Believe it or not, we pay money and buy a gift for ours when she receives A's, and we deduct for grades lower then that.



We have also taken a long weekends to take college tours at various local colleges when the students are in session going to some big college campuses. My daughter has also gone away for a week each summer where friends have all shared a dorm. a



We are not rich by any means, but my daughter's grades were dropping when she was becoming too focused on friends and boys, so we started trying a reward system while also saving money to do camps at different colleges each summer with friend(s). Now, she talks about getting a scholarship for the sport she plays in which we also are paying for outside training in! ... it's financially tough at times but we are managing.



Is your daughter into any activities at school or outside of school? What are her interest? Maybe you can talk to her about joining something, possibly with a friend. Is she artistic or athletic? Find her interest and do everything you can to get her obsessed with it and support her along the way. Her focus will change.



Also plan to take her to a beautiful college this year, and maybe see a volleyball game or something that she would be interested in while you are there. Schedule a free college tour.



I would suggest she focus on school work on weekdays by limiting her seeing him only on the weekends as long as she maintains good grades.



Good luck!

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