Is it ok to tell my 15 (16 in a month) year old daughter to leave the house until she can be respectful?

Jessica - posted on 07/29/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My daughter, who is 15 until her birthday mid-September, is not respecting my rules I laid down when she brought home a kitten a couple months ago without my permission. She keeps feeding it in her room, which is causing a really bad ant problem, since her room is in the basement. She kept grabbing the food from my hands and refusing to hand it over. Then I told her if she couldn't follow my rules she would have to find a new home for her kitten. It continued and I then told her to find a new home for the kitten or I would. She then shoved the food in my hands and screamed, "Get out!" I told her to leave my house until she adjusts her attitude. And...please moms...I really do not care for anyone just getting on here and criticizing without some useful feedback.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/29/2013

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well, not really.

There's better ways to handle things. First, you're the adult. That pretty much automatically makes you the 'bigger' person, and supposedly able to think clearly in a stressful situation. So, responding to her screaming with more screaming won't work.

How about some family therapy? There's a lot of hormonal changes happening to her, if you'll recall, you went through a lot of the same when you were almost 16. She could see her own counselor, and then you, she, and any other involved members of the family together. I also recommend perhaps you see someone to help you get a handle on things for yourself. Because otherwise, you're gonna be one stressed momma!

I've found one thing that gets thru every time, and that is if I present a case to them as "If you do this, and 'X' happens, then it will cost you 'Y' amount of dollars to repair/replace/fumigate. That money will come directly from you, whether its the savings you wanted to use for shopping, or you work it off." I'd have tried that approach (When you feed kitty in your room and do not clean up properly, you get ants. When you get ants, I have to call an exterminator. That will cost you $300. Would you like to work that off at $10 a week for set chores, or would you like to give up a couple of shopping trips before school starts) Generally, my kids start coming up with a list of things they can do to work off the money.

Oh goodness...I just realized that the last paragraph sounded suspiciously like the "direct TV" commercials...LOL

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