Is there any Australian mums on here?

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Natasha - posted on 08/30/2013

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I think maybe rethink your stance on her being over. I know this is hard but if he is that in to her there is nothing u can say or do that will stop this from happening. But at least if you give a little he may think that you understand him more and discover for himself that he is too young. This also allows you to be around your son and help prevent things like teen pregnancy. If he thinks that you respect him enough to let him decide he may surprise you and give more respect in return. Hope this helps let us know how it turns out best of luck.

Aletta - posted on 07/14/2013

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Thank you for the reply. I did phone the girlfriend's mum and we spoke for a while, but they she does not really want to get involved. We have gone to their place and tried to speak to him, there. Yes, he very much does not want to be told what to do.

They were home-schooled for seven years and when we moved to the UK they went to a public school for the first time. I was probably to strict though the years and now he has broken all the boundaries and it seems like there is no turning back.

We do not approve of him staying with her and we have not supported him in it. He is really just sponging on them and I hate that thought, that my son is a burden on someone else. We have told the girlfriend's mum that he has a home and we love him and want him here. She does not seem to worry much about anything and they said he can stay there anytime.

My heart is so broken and all I do is cry all day long. I feel so helpless. We have him with metal health, because his is also very destructive and is again been excluded for hitting a child at school.

The main thing is that he is very angry with us for moving him two times in the last two years. My youngest son is kind, loving and respectful. It is really very hard. Thanks anyway for your reply. Keep well

Jodi - posted on 07/14/2013

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Have you tried communicating with the girlfriend's parents? Do you know them and are they approachable? Also, who is paying for all of his needs at the moment? And what does he mean by "wanting his independence"? It sounds to me like he just doesn't like to be told what to do.

I honestly haven't had this issue with my 16 year old son, he has his moment, but mostly he is very respectful of the household. However, I am a high school teacher (Year 7-10) and I do see this sometimes amongst my students. It is an age of rebellion and wanting to get some level of independence (their idea of independence is very different to ours). I have provided that to my kids gradually and they've never really had the need to push back too hard, but sometimes if you are too strict about their boundaries as they go through their teens, without letting go on some things and allowing them room to grow, pushing back with more drastic rebellion can occur.

Aletta - posted on 07/14/2013

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Jodi, I find it very hard to communicate with my 16 year old, have you got any advice? He is staying at his girlfriend's house and does not want to come home. He says he wants his independence, however I can not see that you are independent when you stay with someone else. It is very hard, and I do not know what I have done wrong.
x

Jodi - posted on 07/13/2013

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I have 2 children and 2 of my husband's children (who don't live with us full time) - ages are 21, 16,14 and 8 :)

Aletta - posted on 07/13/2013

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We are in Mackay, but have moved from Namibia to the UK in 2010 and moved to Ausie in Jan this year. My boys are 14 and 16 and I am learning to "roll with it" getting to know the Ausie ways. The teenage ways these days! How old are your child, Jodi?

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