just found out my 15 year old daughter had sex.

Bucklandfamily - posted on 06/02/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I just found out that my 15 year old had sex with her boyfriend and thought for a few days she might be pregnant. She and I had the sex talk when she was 12. I'm so shocked and disappinted in her. I thought I had done a better job with her. I have no idea what she was thinking.

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Beatrice - posted on 02/19/2013

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I just found out my 15 year old had sex for the first time. I am angry, hurt, sad and confused. I know I can't stop her but I don't want her to do it again. I punished her for several weeks just for letting him in the house while I wasn't home. I know that won't stop her from doing it again because "they love each other". I don't know what to do, or what to say or how to treat her. She's been so honest and said this is something she thought about and wanted to do but it still breaks my heart. I can't eat and haven't had a good nights sleep for days. I can't tell her Dad cause he'll blame me. Any comments?

Meredith - posted on 06/16/2012

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We may raise our children the best we can but sometimes they make heat of the moment decisions. Just make sure she knows she is loved.

Georgina - posted on 06/06/2012

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I know this is a shock when you find out something like this. My daughter gave me this news too when she was 15 and I was astounded - I thought her and her bf were still holding hands in the movies! Some kids mature faster than others. Unfortunately they are surrounded by stimulus which I think has them experimenting earlier these days - the music videos and movies they watch for example - some are almost pornographic! And they do think they are in love - they were busy planning their future together! Be glad that she trusts you enough to talk to you about this. And that she just has one partner! I have heard of girls that age who just go to parties and hook up with a different guy each week! I took my daughter and her boyfriend to the doctor to ask about contraception. The doctor gave them both a stern lecture - about her being underaged etc, the dangers of std's and risk of going on the pill, but gave her a prescription for the pill in any case. They listened to her because it was not their parents telling them what to do! Very soon after that the BF broke up with her - I think he realised it was quite a responsibility! It was heartbreaking for my daughter, the experience has made her abit more careful about jumping into such a relationship too early next time.

Michelle - posted on 06/05/2012

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my son is 14 and I thought I raised him right. I am a Christian mom and for 14 years it was nothing but the two of us and his brother, who was 16 at the time. I raised him up in church, sent him on missionary trips, camps at a Christian ranch, listening to Christian music, reading the Bible. We moved to the country outside of Houston, my son made some new friends and got into 3 fights, started smoking cigerttes and meet 3 girls and hung out in the creek with the girls at diffrent times, one we found out taught him to smoke the other two we found out he had sex with. He will not admit it but we found out on the computer when he was checking out transmitted diseases and sex. He would come home pass his curfue 1-2 hours late and my husband had to go get him out of the woods. We tried grounding him by locking him in the house for 3 months and it worked for 2 weeks but then he was back to his old ways.

They are going to do what they want to do and they will have to learn from their own mistakes. All you can do is buy protection for them. Birth control pill if taken for a long time will keep her from ever having children, condoms protect her 95% from disease and from getting pregnant. Tell her you are not giving her permission but if she chooses to it is for pertection.

If it is up to me, I told my son if he EVER GETS ANYONE PREGNANT. I WILL NOT HELP HIM OUT ! That means he has to find a part time job, support the child and take care of the child his 1/2 of the time, dipers, feeding (getting up all hours of the night). I told him if he makes the mistakes he has to pay for it.

See when I was 18 I thought I knew more than my mom, I got pregnant and I married an abusive man, I lost my child. But I have 2 children now, at the age of 23 and 28 and I got a job and supported them on my own. I learned from my mistakes because at the age of 18 I could have gone to college landed a good job and married my true love and had that child that I lost and many more. Instead I did not listen to my mom and made a mistake and lived 5 years with an abusive man who beat me and almost killed me, killed my unborn son and another child I carried. I missed out on college and a good job. I had to wait until I was 28 to go to school and get a job that paid fair and only held it for 3 years was laid off and now holding dead end jobs.

I have a wonderful husband now but do not work and have a hard time finding work. Things would have been so diffrent if I listened to my mom.
I hope that your daughter listens to you and you are welcome to tell your daughter this story. I have written my life story and tell other kids about it, young teens too (20's) if you want to write me I will be glad to share it with you and your daughter.

Michelle
countrygirlmh@Yahoo.com

Jen - posted on 06/03/2012

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Get her on birth control. Make it known that you are not happy about it, and hope that she reconsiders, but you need to have some insurance that her becoming a teen mom is being protected against. Talk to her about teen pregnancy - perhaps find a teen mom in your area who might talk to her about what she is dealing with personally. Sometimes a very real conversation with someone her own age is what is necessary. Also revisit any discussion about STDs so she can protect herself. Talk to her about condom use and that multiple birth controls are necessary to protect yourself not only from teen pregnancy, but STDs.

Don't be hurtful. It took a lot of guts for her to come talk to you about it. She thinks she is in love... sigh... aww... to be young again... ;)

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Maryanne - posted on 09/25/2018

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all we can do is give our children the tools of whats right and wrong
we cant be there 24/7 and run their lives best thing you can hope for is she learned a lesson and arm her with some sort of bc

Michelle - posted on 06/16/2012

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some people do not believe in spanking children when they cuss, steal, smart mouth or break the curfew but it works. I spanked my son who is 14 and he shoved me, my husband, his step father did not want to spank him because he did not know where he stood being a step father; when we called the police out we found out he is his legal parent now and he can spank him and do as he wish. My 14 year old is having sex now and smoking cig. So my husband spanked him every time he cussed, broke the curfew, smart mouth, shoved me or stoled money from us, slamed a door. We now have to only tell him one time, we look at him and tell him " If we have to tell you again you will get a spanking" he says yes sir or yes mam. He washes the dishes without being told, makes his bed and is in the house and not hanging out with the troubled kids anymore, no smoking, no sex with with the girls he was with he is home all the time, he is not stealing our money, no cussing or smart mouthing. We will see how long this will last but it is working. The Bible says to spank your child and if you do not raise your child right you will stand before God and answer for what they do wrong.

Michelle - posted on 06/06/2012

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I only allowed my son to watch the show to see how hard these kids were going through and that having children at that young of age is wrong. The school distric also teaches these kids with electic dolls and has them bring it home along with going shopping and making a list of baby items they would have to buy for that child and a pretend job. This way they see how hard it is to raise a child.

Jen - posted on 06/06/2012

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@Michelle, I had both my kids at the age of 19 and for the greater part of their upbringing I have been a single parent. While it was hard, and continues to be hard, I wouldn't trade my children for the world. I know teen parents who are great parents and who finish school, and who do it without their parents help. I do not believe 16 and pregnant is an acurate portrayal of what happens in reality and I refuse to allow my children to watch it. Good luck and God Bless.

Michelle - posted on 06/06/2012

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well that is good that she will be careful next time. I really hope so. If you are still interested in reading the story I wrote or know anyone that is, I will be glad to email it to you. You can also watch the show 16 and pregnant, these are girls that got pregnant at 16 and how tough it is and the guys did not stick it out. It is a show I made my 14 year old son watch and I told him I will not help him out, he get's a girl pregnant he will go to work and he will support the girl and the baby and go to school he should not have got himself there. We preach to him all the time about he is to young to be having sex and disease. Education is important so he can get a good job to support a woman and a family.

Pamela - posted on 06/02/2012

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Her hormones are raging, her brain is still forming, and she thinks this is love. Stay calm. The pregnancy scare might be a good thing in that it can reopen the conversation. First, let her know that just because they have been having sex doesn't mean it has to continue. Talk with her about the realities of teenage motherhood and birth control. You can encourage abstinence, but since they have been having sex, you need to discuss the options if they continue (which is likely.)

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