Just typical teenage behavior?

Ancameni - posted on 03/24/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a 15 year old daughter. She has always been a handful, since day as a baby. But these days it is getting worse. Her dad and I divorced 3 years ago, and he moved to his then girlfriend across the US and took our oldest daughter (17 at the time) with him. He did not ask our youngest and did not discuss his taking our oldest with me until 5 days before the move. i let my oldest move with him. My youngest since then is very upset, that she was not asked, that she did not have a choice. I went back to school fulltime while working fulltime. I tried to compensate my child for this by going out with her (somehting we did not do often when we were married), doing things with her. Now she expects all of this. She does not help at all. leaves her stuff all over the house and when I pick it she yells at me "What Have I told you about touching my stuff". She rude, full of anger and rage and I am usually the recipient of it. I cant do anything right and i get yelled at by her for nothing. She threatens to run away or kill herself if I dont comply with a request. ( I work in healthcare and I have to take her threats seriously, though she would never do it)
She sees her dad twice a year (Summer and Christmas) and he calls her several times a week. Her dad cant do any wrong now. This past christmas she realized that they "had serious money" and wants to move with her dad. I told it was fine, she asked her dad he said it was fine with them. I will let her go to learn that the grass is not greener on the other side and that her dad can stop being a Disney Dad. In the past 3 years he was a father and disney dad but not a parent. He barely communicates with me through any means when I try to get his help with her. I am at my end. My co-workers tell me this is normal teenage behavior, and right now the only thing that keeps me going is her moving to her dads soon. I dread to go home, because no matter what I do there will be a confrontation with her about nothing. My friends see how she is and tell me to hang in there. Her Dad knows how she is. Her friends never see that side. BTW her dad has not even been yet in touch with me about her moving and he agreed over 2 months ago. And yes, I have texted him and he replied to something different the other day but has not approached the topic of her living with him.
So is this all just typical teenage girl behavior. From the posts here I tend to agree. But what can i do beside toughen it out.

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Ancameni - posted on 03/24/2016

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Thanks for replying. I know that the move will either not happen or he will do it last minute to make it extra strenous for me. Honestly I dont think he wants her up there with his new wife and her kids but does not want to tell our daughter (she really is my mini-me). He will most likely wait until last minute and tell her something came up and it wont work out. And I have not made any mentions of this to her, so she can figure it out for herself. she has those high hopes to get things and "he actually wants a relationship with me". But she will never come first for her dad. It will be his wife and her kids and then her. She also was in counseling and was very guarded and I was told pretty much to hang in there and toughen it out, it was normal behavior.

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