Kicked my 17 yr old out

Cairymisty - posted on 08/14/2019 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I kicked my son out almost 3 months ago to go live with his dad. My son is very defiant. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, Depression and anxiety. I have dealt with his defiance for about 10 years. He will be 18 at the end of September. when my son doesnt get his way he becomes angry very angry and will punch things or leave. He has broken his hand at least 4 times from punching things when he gets mad. He is very disrespectful to authority figures. We used to be very close and he would tell me everything. We had a great relationship. His dad isnt the best role model either. He has never been there for my boys. My son and his father have never had a good relationship. When he was about 14 or 15 he got into drugs. I tried to make him stop but I failed so I told him I dont want drugs or any drug related things in my house which he brought in my house multiple times anyways. I've tried grounding him, taking things away nothing works. He has stolen from his brothers and other people and possibly me as well. He has destroyed his brothers things his dads things his own things. Cops have been called on him for things before. He was kicked out of school in 7th grade and started an alternative school. He is very disrespectful to the teachers there as well. I mad him get a job and start paying for his cell phone bill which he was doing great with but he let buying drugs take over and spent all his money on that and didnt pay for his bill and would call into work all the time. Since he has been gone he is still very disrespectful to and his dad at times. Which is where he is staying at his dads house since June 1st. He barely talks to me or wants to see me since kicking him out. I have only spent time with twice because that's all he would see me. He calls me names when he gets mad or just because during this time. He has not shown he wants to change. He has said he will drop out of school if he doesnt come back to my house (it's his junior yr). He was supposed to come back on Sunday but yesterday I went to discuss what I expect when he comes back and he got mad and walked off so I told him he cant come back until we have this discussion.

Now I have struggling bad about if that was the right thing to do. I have cried over kicking him all the time. I dont know if what I am doing is right. I will blame myself if he drops out of school. I dont want him to do that. I hurt so bad I dont feel like I am whole as a person or a mother. I have bent over backwards for him to help him. He will be 18 at the end of September. I feel so lost but hurt. He has said he would do things to me when he is mad. My other boys are done with him and dont want him back.

So it's so long but thank you for reading and your feedback.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jessica - posted on 09/22/2019

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Sorry for your situation, but it sounds like you're doing the right thing. He needs to know that behavior isn't acceptable and him threatening to drop out of school is just another one of his tactics to manipulate you.

He needs counseling, and probably medication.

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