Knock down drag out

Any - posted on 08/05/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Fight between daughter an stepdad, started out by telling katelyn our 15 yr old not o hit her brother so hard play fighting. She starts yelling bithch I hate tou. Gets in his face and slaps him.so he pushe her down on the Coach to hold her hands down.all the while hollering she hated all if us. Little bro and little sister crying. We do t know what to do?

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BETTY - posted on 08/08/2013

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I don't think that's abuse if he doesn't hold hands down she might of hit him more, that's whats wrong with the system now you touch a child because is assaulting YOUUU and is abuse but a child hits a parent and it needs councelling:0 come ON he did ok by holding her he didn't hit her he was showing whos the boss and his kids were in front of all so if he doesn't do that what would the children though? ohh I can hit daddy and he wont do nothing jajaja nope as long as he does not hit or slap her because he is not her daddy I don't see anything wrong, but I think your daughter has big time jelousy with your other kids she needs councelling and a lot of talking with you good luck and may God Bless you and your family.

Donna - posted on 08/08/2013

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By the way... Kudos to the dad that didn't lay her out on the floor after being slapped. Many parents would not have been able to stomach that abuse coming from your daughter.

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Enna - posted on 08/08/2013

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Your husband has every right to defend himself against your daughter hitting him. It doesn't sound like he was harming her at all, just trying to get the situation under control.I think you need to get her into counselling, she's obviously having some trouble with something, and if you can't talk to her about it maybe someone else can. Talk to your little ones too to make sure that they understand that she doesn't really hate them she's just feeling bad about something else.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2013

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And, besides that, why is stepdad addressing disrespect thrown at mom? Mom should be addressing that herself.

BETTY - posted on 08/08/2013

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I feel exactly what you are feeling but in my case is my son and his step dad, the words bitch I hate you I think 80% of teens now on days say it (IT IS WRONG!!!) OF COURSE but I think sometimes teens came from same planet lol, the last 2 years I remarried my 1st Husband and my son was use to being the man of course so it has been a bumpy ride what ive done is take advices from my husband (he has 3 kids too) then I apply them to my son but try not to confront them until they get to know each other more, in the last year , when ever my son is disrespectful to me I remind him im his mother and I deserve respect, then I ignore him I make dinner don't serve him just tell him dinner is ready, don't make him feel very important like before then he came to me and asked whats going on and I said well this is what you will see everytime you disrespect me , and little by little he has change hope this helps, (what it is she is screaming for attention big time because you got other 2 little ones and she feels not important any more:(
hope this helps.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/08/2013

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Well, sorry, but anyone that physically assaults a child by shoving and sitting on them is not a "parent" in my book, but a bully who is using their own size and strength to intimidate and restrain the child.

A parent would have known what holds to use that are not abusive, and would have diffused the situation with out shoving the child.

Both of my sons are 6'5", and outweigh me, but when they lash out, I can passively restrain either of them, and calm them in order to have a rational discussion about their behaviour.

Donna - posted on 08/08/2013

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When children/teens lash out, there is an underlying factor taking place. Is her bio dad still in her life? How does she feel about her siblings? Do they have the same father? Does she feel a sense of being alienated? Is this the 1st outburst against the step father? Etc...
What about school and/or friends? Any social or behavioral changes? Any new influences in her life? Is she more secretive or distant than usual? Etc.

Many questions can be answered with some investigating and heartfelt conversation. But in the meantime, mom, teach your daughter that this behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. My motto... With every decision you make, there's a consequence with possibly repercussions to follow.... So make your choices wisely.

Donna - posted on 08/08/2013

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Shawn Lively... How is restraining the daughter from hitting/slapping the step father considered abuse on his part? Anyone swinging on you would have to be physically handled (restrained). The daughter is fortunate to have an adult in her life that didn't swing back.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/06/2013

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Why is your husband physically laying hands on your daughter?

I'm not saying tolerate disrespect, but what he did is abuse, not discipline.

Get a handle on the discipline situation in your house. Start counseling, for all, and individual for your daughter. SEnd your husband to a parenting class or two so that he can learn how to handle himself without physically assaulting your daughter.

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