Lost & Confused

Celina - posted on 09/09/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter just turned 16 and decided to runaway 5 hours away from home and stay w this 17 year old boy. She continue to tell me she loves me and its not me. That she wants to be independent. I reported her as a runaway right away but unless she does a crime the police might never find her?? I'm so scared and confused.

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Celina - posted on 09/10/2013

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I know that she's in Midland Texas because my son talks to her but does not know exactly where she at. I know that she has a babysitting job and told my son that you she never been more happier. I have a detective looking for her and have given him the name of who I think she's with I have done my part as a mom.I have always struggled and tried to do my best with my kids but one thing is for sure is I love them so much and they know this. I have always put them first and I still do. my two oldest are from someone else who I needed to leave in the best interest of my kids I moved with the clothes on our backs and have provided beautiful home for them but for some reason it was never good enough. struggling with my team has been the hardest thing in my whole entire life but I have a nine year olds that has suffered from this and I need to focus on her now so she won't follow their step I will never give up on miya but I cant give up on mariah either is this wrong? my son tried doing the same thing and leave the home but he's back and sorry for leaving maybe Miya needs to see the same.

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Celina - posted on 09/24/2013

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Hey moms.... Yesterday was very emotional for me. My daughter who's been gone a month now finally called w tears that she totally made a mistake by leaving. Come to find out that ass she was with started hittingher and being a ass. I went straight to the grey hound paid for her ticket and she came back 6 hours away. Yes to all the moms that said sometime its sad when the world teaches r kids but you know what I know this was a learning process for all of us. They say God makes bad things happen because we need to have that faith that something great will come out of it. And me I got faith in God... Believe and be strong to anyone going threw the same thing.

Leesa - posted on 09/13/2013

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Celina,
I know what you are going through. My sd is 15 and decided she didn't want to live in our house anymore and ran away to her friends house. She has said if we make her come back she will only run again or kill herself. She has emotional problems because of her bio mum. Her older sister who is 16 and lives in another town decided a week before her sister that she too was running away and has gone to live with her boyfriends family. It's a really stressful time for everyone as I also have 3 teens who live with myself and hubby too and they have seen all the fights and auguring because of my sd. Like the others have said try to keep in touch and pray she will be safe that's what we are doing. My sd had everything she could have wanted with us private school education and she didn't want it, never had any chores, was loved and respected , got her counciling but she didn't want to go. Their is only so much you can do and in my case she won't get help until she wants it and at the moment she doesn't. My case is different to yours as ATM our house is at peace without the constant stress but also sad as she didn't want our help love and support

Lynn - posted on 09/10/2013

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Celina, it can be exhausting with girls because their judgement gets clouded when it comes to boys. I know!
It is good that your son has been in contact with her so that you can still know how she is doing. If you go get her, she will only leave home again.
I know she will come back home to her family. It is not easy to let the world teach our children, but sometimes we have to. The best advice is to accept her with open arms when she returns (love her) because she will need it.
If she contacts you, give her words of support and even offer for her and the boy to come by for a meal. You can know him better and see how she is really doing.

Don't be scared. Stay in prayer. I know she will be just fine.

Kristi - posted on 09/10/2013

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It's not wrong to focus on your little one. At some point, there is only so much you can do for a child. Of course you're not giving up on your teen and when there is something more you can do, I'm sure you will do it. When your daughter does call encourage her to come home. Remind her that she's welcome and you love her. If your son has regular contact with her and it appears she is safe, I'd say do your best to take some comfort in that knowledge for the time being and like you said, focus on your 9 year old, who is home and needs your attention and love right now, too.

I didn't mean to vote your comment helpful 3 times, I'm on my mobile and I was trying to click hugs but my fat fingers weren't cooperating. ; )

Amy Nicole - posted on 09/10/2013

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Celina, Tell her that she can be independent at home. Let her know your very worried about her and that it's not okay too just run away just because she wants too be independent. She's 16 not 20. Pray for God too lead her in the right direction. When she gets home are you going too punish her for running away and scaring you?

Kristi - posted on 09/09/2013

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Did the police tell you they might never find her? It sounds like you already have an idea where she is and maybe who she is with. Does she have a cell phone? All that should give them a place to start.

Does she understand what "independent" means? Generally, people without a high school education or more, these days, are not independent. They are living off welfare, they are living off other people, some steal or sell drugs to support themselves. Independent means paying for your own housing, your own food, your own transportation, your own utilities, etc. Have you asked her how she plans on doing that?

Why do YOU think she ran away? Have there been behavioral issues prior to her running away? How was she doing in school? Did any of her patterns or behaviors change recently to indicate something serious might have happened to her? How many times has she called you/you called her since she ran away? There's obviously more to her leaving than just wanting to be independent. You need to figure out what that is and then rectify it. Somehow, she needs know you are her safe haven and she can count on you for whatever she needs. But, you can't enable her to be a run away.

If it were me, I'd go look for her myself. I suggest you get some counseling in the meantime, you might gain some insight on more effective ways to communicate with your daughter. Sometimes HOW you say/ask something can be just as important as WHAT you are saying/asking and whether or not you'll get a positive response. I hope you get good news soon.

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