Manipulation/Sexuality

Reina - posted on 01/02/2018 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Good day. I have a 13 year old daughter who was secretly dating/seeing a 14 year old boy. I was unaware that they secretly saw each other 6 times since they met on social media in Aug. The first day she met him, she was nervous; then he persuaded her to invite him over to our house. He even told her that she needed to change her appearance, how she dresses and talks. He made her talk dirty to him because that’s what her liked. Then he told her that he used to talk to numerous girls but stopped talking to her because she was special. If she would stop talking to him, he would kill him self. That he didn’t have any friends and my little girl fell hard for all of this. He manipulated his way into her mind and heart. So a week later, she secretly invites him over when no one is home and he performed oral sex her. She said she was scared and he told her not to be because she wouldn’t be able to come out pregnant. Then a couple of weeks past by, we begin to notice a change in her. The way she’s talking to us and her appearance. Her school grades are fluctuating. She sneaks around again and invites him over again. We weren’t aware of it. Then the following day, she tells me she wants to go to the movies with a couple of classmates. I drove her to the movie theater and waited around for her but to then find out it was a secret date with this boy. The next morning, I asked her a question about who was she talking to on the phone so early in the morning. She did not respond and her father took her phone away, asked her for her passcode and when he unlocked it, we saw(read) things we couldn’t believe. We were so devastated. We are so highly upset. We don’t know what to do. I have 3 other children, older but I never went through this. Please help. I don’t know what to do.

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Bella - posted on 01/07/2018

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Hi, I understand how difficult it must be for you having found out what is going on with your daughter but I encourage you to be strong and not allow the situation to overwhelm you. It is a good thing that you have found out and you can now put into action safeguards for the future safety of your daughter. I would suggest you firstly have a serious discussion with your daughter about what you have found out and how dangerous a situation she has put herself in. Secondly all forms of communication between your daughter and this boy has to be stopped. I think it's also necessary for now that her father keeps her phone and she's not allowed any access to it until she can prove she can be trusted again.
Teens need boundaries to help them make good choices.

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