My 11 years old boy is driving me crazy

Nereyda - posted on 11/14/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Every day is a battle, I feel like staying in bed just to avoid my 11 years old son attitude and bad behavior. 1st, he is failing school, I asked my sister to help him out since she is a teacher, she did, but she couldn't do anything at her house for 4 days, just because she was there 100%, if I do that I won't be able to work and how can I survive like that? I try to take things from him when he gets angry and talks back to me, or when he lies about doing his work at school. I don't have anything else to take away, he didn't have presents from last year's Christmas, no present for his birthday, now Christmas is coming and what the same thing will happen, help...help..help... I get depressed and I cried because I think that I failed as mom, I feel is my fault, but I don't know why. What I may doing wrong???? Help

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Amy Nicole - posted on 11/15/2013

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Hi,Trust me attitude is a big problem with pre teens and teens.
Your not a bad parent but you need to let him know who is the parent and who's the child.
You take away what YOU want even if he gets angry or talks back to you. I would talk to him about it and see if he is just having trouble understanding school work or it's just plain disrespect and the i don't want to attitude. You can't let him run you over like that. You need to warn him once and then the second time punish him. Take something away or whatever you use for punishments. Talk to him about the lies let him know that lying isn't okay and that it's a bad thing and can get him in serious trouble. You need to be the mom that isn't going to back down to her son's bad attitude.
That attitude is going to land him on the streets,Jail or Possibly dead. Nereyda,stand up to him and let him know your concered because your not the child and he's not the parent. You shouldn't have to back down to him and not want to get up in the morning because of his behaviors. You should try to get him some things. Just rember his behavior isn't your fault it's his, It reflects on you though so i would stop it. Let him know your not someone he can take his anger out on and he will not take his anger out on you unless he wants a punishment. You have to be consistent about it. He's not going to listen if you let him walk all over you and talk to you and treat you like an animal. It's not right.
Good luck.

Svetlana - posted on 11/17/2013

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I feel for you and I understand your frustration. I have 2 sons ( 11 and 14 years old) . I am going through very difficult time too with my eldest. Trying my best, trying to understand him. One thing I was doing wrong is blaming myself in everything what was going on. I was trying to go back in time and think where did I make mistakes...Well it didn't do any good for me... Just got myself depressed and my son felt that I am felling down about myself. It gave him more reason not to listen to me and looking at me as I am a week person. So what can I tell you?! Stop blaming yourself, get a life , don't stop your life waiting for silver line! You are good mother and doing everything for your child you can. They are going through ruff time and we should be strong for them. Change your attitude to yourself and your son will fell it and respond to. Happy mother, happy child. And also try to involve school in that, talk to his teachers ask for help where you can!!! Scream for help! And remember you are not alone and you are very good mother. ( sorry if my english not so good, its my second language. hope you got my message))) All the best to you! We will go through that no matter what ;))))

Nereyda - posted on 11/16/2013

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Thanks!! Yes I do that, the problem is when the other parent dont follow the same, but I stay in this battle. Thanks again for your workda

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Amy Nicole - posted on 11/17/2013

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Your welcome, Just show him that your not afraid of his attitude and your the parent not him.
Just talk to him :)

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