MY 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS GROWING SO FAST..,,

K - posted on 03/22/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

13

0

3

After giving birh to my beautiful daughter I nursed to took care of her until she was 1 and a half. I was not there for her second birthday. We reunite after her 2nd birthday. After living with me for nine months I got a job offer in another country. I leave her behind with her dad. I took that job offer so I could better support my family. Every summer my daughter visits me. After five years her dad migrated so my daughter was with her grandmother. Both parents are gone but I was one supporting my daughter financially(school fees, school trips etc) since her dad was not working. With all of that we showed lots of love. After a about 4 years my daughter migrated to be her dad. I missed her an awful lot because visitation was a little difficult since I didn't have a visa to go visa her and whenever she gets holidays from she often wants to stay because she was enjoying her new friends and the new country. I understand and continue to communicate with he. Fours later I joined the crew. I was so happy to reunit with my family. My daughter has grown so much. She is very intelligent. She expresses herself very well. She has a mind of her own. I dont have to say much when it comes on to chores in the house and other simple things. I feel like I'm afraid of her somewhat. She is funny, talkative, spend long time video chatting with he4 friends and she likes to go out. I get controlling sometimes because I this she is too expressive it comes off to me aggressive at time. I am very passionate myself and I want to get my point across but she talks over me, and I think that disrespectful. I love my daughter to bits and she is the reason why I'm here now. She crys and stay away from me after we have a fight. She doesn't want to speak to me even if I ty to force her. I cry also because it makes me sad. I dont want her to be afraid of me. I want us to be mother and daughter no not enemies. She stays closer to her and and he4 20 year old sister. That pain my heart because I want us to have good relationship also. What can I do to bring back that closeness to us? What should I say to her? I dont want to loose my daughter at 13 ....

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Trisha - posted on 03/23/2015

551

0

13

She needs that time to stay away from you after a fight. Don't try to force it. It won't make it better.
Just try to spend time with her doing things she enjoys when you can. It is hard at that age because they have their own social circle. Maybe watch some movies with her, stuff you will both enjoy and have things to talk about.
You can't automatically expect her to respect you. Being in a situation where you are both fighting to "talk over each other" is not a productive way to communicate. Neither of you are actually listening or acknowledging what the other is saying. You simply are trying to think of the next thing you will say.
If you have something to discuss take it to the kitchen table, or a couch and sit down for it. Go over the pros and cons over why you are doing something, and let her have an opportunity to explain her side. Try to come to a middle ground with her when you think she has a valid point. Doing things like this will let her see that you respect what she has to say, and she should start to gain more respect for you in time, bettering your relationship.

4 Comments

View replies by

Trisha - posted on 03/23/2015

551

0

13

I am exactly the same way when it comes to being overly emotional. I have to get 8 hrs of sleep or I cry if someone looks at me funny. On top of that I am pretty sensitive to begin with.

K - posted on 03/23/2015

13

0

3

Thank you so much Trisha Lee. I appreciate your comment and I'm going to do exactly what you said.

I hate the fact that I'm so emotional, I cry a lot. I'm a strong person but I cry an awful lot. I get emotional typing this message.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms