my 13 year old daughter wants to dye her hair. she has healthy har and good grades, but she recently got a puppy and I don't want her to become spoiled. Whats your opinion?

Kimberly - posted on 09/04/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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But she did recently get a puppy and I really don't want her to become selfish or develop a sense of entitlement. She sees to want things a lot but she claims that "if she gets this she will be satisfied". In the past I haven't allowed piercings and the one concession I've made regarding her appearance was some temporary "bling strings" in the summer.

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Michelle - posted on 09/04/2012

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Your daughter is trying to develop a sense of who she truly is, experimenting with different hair color and other things that are not permanent allow our children to let their personalities shine. My son is 11 and for all of grade 5 bleached his hair blonde and used spray in color to tint the spikes he loved it everyone thought he looked cool and it helped him to discover courage to try something different and the confidence to know he looked good. My 16 year old currently has pink and purple bangs she looks cute, we live in a hillbilly town and it may not go over well but she has the self confidence to try it and pull it off. I have even allowed my 3 year old to use the spray in color when she wants to be like the older two. To me it is just hair, it grows back, it can be dyed back and as long as it gives your daughter a sense of pride in herself that is all that matters.

Francine956 - posted on 09/04/2012

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I don't think by letting her dye her hair she will become selfish or develop a sense of entitlement. I have two teenage girls and have had to make compromises as a parent. In this particular instance the compromise we made was I had to approve the color. Luckily she wanted a darker color under all her hair, so I was okay with it at that time. I think the best approach I took was to talk with my daughter and let her know she has been proving she is responsible and keeping her grades up, therefore I would compromise with her about the hair. I also let her know if she started to change, like acting too big for her britches, then she would to be allowed to do it again in the future. It is a tough age for our teenage girls, the peer pressure is insane, so if a little dye is all she is asking for then I would much rather say yes to that than some of the other requests that may come up. My advice if you feel she is being responsible and respects you as a parent than be willing to make compromises to show her how proud you are of her! Best of luck!

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