My 13 year old's friends broke her bedroom window attempting to sneak her out!

Jojo - posted on 03/08/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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A few weeks ago two of my daughter's friends jumped over our gate at midnight and tried to take her screen off the window and ended up breaking the outer window pane. I was still awake and heard some commotion, by the time I looked out the front window I saw a couple girls running down the street. It was dark so it was hard to tell who it was at the time, I then quickly discovered her broken window. The next day I took her cell phone and accessed the text messages and found out what was going on, and she then told me the story. Apparently her friend instigated the plan to sneak out and they were going to go to a boys house, so she then offered to come and take the screen off to make it easier for her to get out, my daughter indicated she thought they were just joking, until they showed up and broke the window. She did attempt to conceal the truth as the girls were begging her to not tell me it was them. I then contacted the parents of the other girls and got a quote for the window repair and it has come down to one of the parents only wants to pay 1/3 as to include us in on the financial portion of the window repair, he insists that my daughter told them to come over and take her screen off therefore she is 100% involved in the window breaking, however, my investigation proves otherwise(why would she tell them to come over while I was still awake?), don't get me wrong my daughter is being held responsible for her part, which was conspiring to sneak out and then lying when I asked her if she knew who broke her window. My feelings are that the two girls that actually destroyed our property on their own free will are responsible for the repair cost. I would like to know some other opinions on this? Do you think they should pay or I should be responsible also?

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Jodi - posted on 03/08/2013

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OK, you have admitted here that your daughter is being held responsible for her part, which INCLUDED conspiring with her friends to sneak out, and yet you don't think she should have any part in the broken window? Uh, no. holding her responsible for her part would INCLUDE holding her partially responsible for the broken window. Sorry, but I agree with the other parent, that your daughter should be financially 1/3 responsible. I don't believe she wasn't part of the entire plot. She lied to you once. Why wouldn't she lie to you in telling you she had nothing to do with the window thing? Of course she was part of that plan!!

"why would she tell them to come over while I was still awake"

Because she is 13. 13 year olds aren't known for being particularly bright about their sneakiness. She screwed up, or her friends misunderstood, or they all thought you wouldn't hear anything. Just because you were awake is no proof that your daughter wasn't a part of the window situation....neither is her word for it that she thought they were joking.

Kristi - posted on 03/09/2013

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From an insider's point of view, I would think hey, they broke my window, they have to pay. But, being honest and objective, your daughter (easily could have been anyone's daughter) is just as guilty as the other 2.

Your question says should I be responsible also? You're responsible because your daughter is 13. That doesn't mean she can't be financially accountable for her third. I hate to say it but you're lucky to get either of the other girls' parents to admit responsibility for any of it. Unless you are friends with the other parents, they usually don't want to hear about it because it turns into a he said/she said thing and it usually just ends up with a lot of bad feelings.

Hopefully, your daughter and her friend will learn their lesson and you won't have to deal with this again...at least for a few years, anyways! ; )

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Jennifer - posted on 03/12/2013

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The other parent is right 3 girls 3 way split. Your daughter intended to sneak out no matter what she said other wise when they showed up she would have come running to you scared to death that someone what trying to come in her window.

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