My 13-year-old son is like a total stranger to me!

Maryann - posted on 08/24/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am feeling helpless, hurt & confused; because I am a single mom of two sons. My older son goes with his father most of the summer. He was to come home Saturday, but his father played all these head games. He hasn't called or texted, and I am worried. He starts school on Thursday, and I am thinking of going to our court-appointed attorney, and started a war with his ignorant father - again. The other part of me, thinks that my son needs to stop being a "passenger" with his Dad. I was tempted to let him stay with his father for the school year, but that would be a huge mistake. I don't want to "force him" to come home, but why is he acting so distant from me now? I can't believe it would be this easy for his father to buy him away from wanting to come home? I don't know what to do?

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LTM - posted on 08/26/2014

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Hi Maryann. You'll have to arm yourself with lots of hugs, kisses, questions about what he's been doing, lots of 'I love you' and 'Gee I miss you when you're not around', time spent hanging out on the couch together, hot chocolates with marshmallows, etc. All the things that kids want and need from their mothers - even when they deny it. lol.
Your biggest challenge when he comes home is showing him how much you love and miss him - and concealing how cross you are with his father.
Phone up his father, and your son, and let them know how eager you are for him to return. Remember he might have made new friends or developed some new interest over the summer so you'll need to be supportive and interested in hearing about that instead of sounding bitter that you were left out.
I can't advise you about the attorney intervention. You're the one who best knows whether or not that is necessary, but you do need to make sure that your son knows how much you want him home.
Don't let him think you are not interested because you are not chasing him up!
Good luck Maryann.

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Maryann - posted on 01/05/2015

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OMYGOD! The same exact situation, and I was going to our court-appointed attorney also. Then my son said he wanted to go live with his dad, and I am going to let him!

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