My 13 yr old getting bullied, PLEASE give some advise, I feel so helpless.

Angelkisses32 - posted on 08/19/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I hope someone can give me some advise, I have been up all night thinking about my daughter Shaylin and the thing's she is going through. She is 13 yr's old, and has been getting bullied. I have always told her to just ignore them and act like it doesn't bother you, and let the parent's or school know. That seemed to work. Here recently one of her close friends has been hanging out with two other girl's and they have all been picking on her. She ignored it, at first it was name calling, and dirty look's, when her friend is not with the other girl's she is nice to Shaylin. I told her that if she is going to act like that and treat her bad then she isn't a true friend and she shouldn't hang out with her. She said she didn't think that she was talking bad about her just the other girls.Then today she was out back talking to her friends and came in and told me they were throwing these little rocks at her an her friends, and said that they were going to jump her at the bus stop. I got really upset and went to go say something to them and she started crying telling me not to that I was only going to make things worse for her. I really don't know what to do. I want to help her but if I say or do anything then they will just pick on her more for coming and saying something to me. I don't want to just sit back and do nothing, We have had a long talk an she knows that she is not a good friend and is not going to talk or hang out with her anymore. The girl keeps messaging her saying she's sorry. She still wants to be friends, that she was just mad and blamed it all on her being bipolar. I really don't know what to do, if anyone has any advise please tell me. I know everyone is probably going to say tell the girls parents or talk to the girls, but if I do she won't tell me things that's going on.

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Kelly - posted on 08/25/2013

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I think your daughter is handling this well and as parents we should stay out of it unless it is drastic. If you intervene you will make it a lot worse for her. This is something she needs to learn so she can handle bullies in the future and in life we meet many of them. I wanted to go confront my sons bullies when he came home beaten up but he said not to and I didn't intervene. It stopped so somehow he handled it in a way that worked. Girls can be worse but she needs to learn how to handle it to empower herself. It will come in handy when she goes to work and is faced with it there. Our society and TV make bullying look alright because making fun of people gets laughs. It just isn't funny when it is happening to you or your child. Good Luck and hope it works out.

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Shauda - posted on 01/28/2014

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My daughter's friend did her the same way and we tried doing things thr nice way by talking to her parents and the school but it did not work to sit back and watch my daughter hurt also hurted me so I told her the next time she say something to her to knock her lights out I reaalized if you don't fight back the will continue to bully so tell her to stand her grounds and if anyone gets mad at her for defending herself that's when you step in as a parent and ask them where we're they at whdn your child was getting bullied !

Debi - posted on 09/01/2013

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Bullies get away with bullying until they are stopped. Have you called the school principal? Spoke with the school counselor? Your daughter sounds like a wonderful, shy, child. My Son had been bullied, I started him in TiKwonDo. He loved it. It gave him to self-confidence to stand up for himself. No more bullying. This friend may be sorry or is an ally of the other girls and, just trying to gain your daughter's confidence again. Call your local police station and ask for guidance. This violence will just continue as they know that they can hurt your daughter - at least until, they starting hurting someone else. They need juvie. I will keep you both in my prayers.

Lynn - posted on 08/26/2013

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My daughter was bullied for much of her school years and it was so difficult because by talking to the parents, you can make it worse or the parents are so much like children that you won't get through. School officials tend to be hands off unless a physical altercation has taken place. You may want to consider switching schools. It is very difficult for kids to ignore bullies, but luckily there came a point when my daughter was not the only one being bullied by the same persons; therefore, she and a couple of other girls went to the administrator together to complain and that got the administrator to keep tabs on the bullies and even contact their parents. It may be difficult, but your daughter will need to change her phone and distance herself from the girls she thought were her friends. It may be lonely for a little while, but she will meet at least one good person after she separates herself from those girls.

Melynda - posted on 08/24/2013

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Talk to the bullies. I would confront those lil girls and let them know you have your daughters back. I am not saying to throw down w the teens but let them know it is not tolerated. Then take her to her kickboxing class ;)

Linda Ann - posted on 08/19/2013

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I have 2 boys and one girl. Girls can be so mean ! Have her join something away from them. Dance sports kick boxing karate.ect. My son was bullied so bad fir 2 years. I put him in catholic school and he is so happy n doing great!good luck

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