My 14 year old is experiencing verbal abuse from her dad but will not move out with me.

Maureen - posted on 11/25/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have tried everything. We've been to family therapy( He won't return). He won't get individual help.
I don't want to move out, but nothing else typically gets his attention. And yes I have worked on the marriage. We take dance classes together and do many other things also.
Our daughter refuses to move out with me.She says "we will do just fine without you."In fact, typically after he says something harsh to her, she calls me a bad name. Sometimes we have a good relationship, and sometimes she says I am boring.
Yesterday, she refused to leave early enough for a rehearsal and so he stands behind her with his arms around her , not letting her out in spite of her and my protests that it is scaring me.
I am thinking of leaving for a few days so he will pay attention to,this issue, but it could backfire. I cannot think of what else to,do.

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Sabine - posted on 11/26/2013

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Hi, I'm just wondering if it may be her age and hormones that are speaking. My son is 13 and he idolizes his nonexistent manipulative father. He says he forgets all the horrible things dad does and then craves dads attention once again. Perhaps if you/we educate ourselves in WHY teens need their fathers while in puberty we may find our answers. I'm afraid the more I give my boy a reality check on his dad the more he will push me away. It seems like a hormonal force tearing him up inside. I have a feeling by you leaving, you may loose your daughter.

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