My 15 year old daughter is no longer a virgin

Katrece LaShaun - posted on 10/18/2017 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Both times that I trusted her to go out with a female friend,She ended up with a boy having sex!!! How do I trust her to go anywhere since she's already betrayed me more than once?

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Amy - posted on 07/30/2018

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My daughter was the same way. If she wants to have sex she's going to find a way. I would talk to her about it, give her as much information as possible. Buy her condoms too, just in case

Sarah Rose - posted on 06/03/2018

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Even I lost virginity at 15, it's not a crime .Ask her to do it safe like with appropriate protections ...like codons can help!!! Teenage pregnancy is a heck as I have experienced it personally . I became a mother at the age of 17 and that was not easy . Me and my bf didn't bother about protection at that time, and I regret that . Ask her to do it safely with eradicating the probability of getting pregnant, then everything is fine Nothing to worry just let her!

Patty - posted on 02/06/2018

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Teens have sex, it's not the end of the world. Hopefully you've had lots of talks about consent and birth control.

[deleted account]

I am a mother of two girls, age 19 and 18.
Both of them lost their virginity at the age of 15.

Sunnyface - posted on 10/20/2017

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This is a tough subject! As parents, we want to trust our teenagers and allow them the freedom to socialize and have fun but when they overstep their boundaries, corrective measure should be taken. Perhaps, instead of your daughter going out alone with her friends, you could plan family activities instead. Give her the choice of inviting one or two friends along. Allow your daughter to have her friends over so that you can keep a closer eye on her. Supervision seems to be key in this particular situation. This is such a difficult age and it can be so frustrating. Keep up the good work and I wish you the best of luck!

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Fiona - posted on 08/01/2018

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Totally agree, Amy. Make sure there is protection, plenty of info (sit down chat), and stress being safe. Not much more you can do at that age.

Beth - posted on 07/31/2018

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I have a little different view on this than the other Moms. Of course I agree that a girl that's sexually active needs to have ALL the information about sex and reproduction that you can provide. And "safe sex" is a must.
But I'd wonder why she is having sex and who with. Is it a long time boyfriend, different guys? Sex in risky places?
Girls at 15 are in a sensitive part of their lives. They clearly aware they're sexually attractive to boys, but they can be unsure of why. Their self esteem can be week because they aren't sure what they esteem.
I think it's time for a long talk -- not so much about the sex, but about where she is emotionally. How she's doing in school. What she sees for herself and her thoughts on how to get there. Of course, she might just be horny (not unheard of), but I'm guessing there's more to it.

Beth

Fiona - posted on 06/04/2018

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Totally agree, Sarah Rose, safe sex all the way, but other than that, I had no issue when my daughter did this. :)

Fiona - posted on 05/15/2018

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My daughter lost hers at 15, too. I wasn't overly concerned, as I knew she was careful. :)

Vanessa - posted on 02/17/2018

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Sex is not a crime, its just natural. And as long she wanted it and the boy didnt rape or force here... nothing wrong with that! Both my girls lost there V before they were 15 and I didnt mind!

Andrew - posted on 01/27/2018

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That's the oldest trick in the book, yet you didn't see it coming? But you can see busses, and trains right?

Amy - posted on 11/14/2017

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Honestly at this point she is going to find a way to keep having sex wether or not you want her to. I think you need to make it so not taboo, if you set some rules and give her a little leash, I think it will be beneficial. My daughter is approaching that age and I want her to be able to talk to me and tell me about it. I'll have no problem even buying her the condoms. I know some parents who let them do it in the house so at least they are doing it somewhere safe and not sneaking around doing it where they could get caught and get in trouble.

Ev - posted on 10/21/2017

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""First clarify whether or not you want her to not have sex or to not get pregnant. A teenager pregnancy is probably the worst thing that can happen to a girl because she'll need to spend a good chunk of her life on hold as she raises a child. I don't believe in abortion. Teen guys don't man up and become responsible fathers either, so she'd be on her own.""---At this age you can tell the kids until you are blue in the face that they should not do this but they are teens and they are going to be curious at best. You need to talk to your kids about these issues. A girl does not have to give up a part of her life to raise a kid--she still has the ability to become something in life. Teen guys are not all as you say and can become responsible dads. I know of teen girls right now that are not responsible moms!

If your goal is to prevent a pregnancy then get her on birth control or give her condoms and make sure she knows how to use them and uses them all the time.-----You do not just give her these things and hope for the best---you educate her.

If you want her to stop having sex period then look up chastity belts online. They're usually sold in bdsm sex shops. It's crude and repressive but there's no other way your going to stop her from having sex. Just have her agree to wear it if she's out of the house and you hold the keys otherwise punish her somehow or ground her to make sure she stays hold.----Chastity Belts???? Right......

""""I don't think you can stop her from having sex unless you either lock her up or lock her genitals up. Birth control is a harm reduction solution and I think is the best solution here. I know it's hard for your child to start to become sexual but you were her age once too and I'm sure you were plenty interested in sex, right?""""---You can not like the girl up in a tower....and you can not lock up her.....well you know. EDUCATION!!!!

I wish you and your family the best of luck.

Anne - posted on 10/19/2017

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Wow...this hits close to home as my daughter just turned 16. I remember being that age and I, too, was having sex. My parents found out about it but the only thing I remember them telling my boyfriend and I at the time was DO NOT HAVE SEX. I don't remember any other part of that conversation. And guess what...I kept having sex. Your daughter can't be trusted...she's proven that...I was not to be trusted, either. The one thing I wish my parents had done at that time was to get to the bottom of WHY I was having sex...beyond the usual raging teenage hormones. If we had explored that area, perhaps I would have made better choices from that point on. By the grace of God I never got pregnant outside of marriage...but not because I was careful...it was truly God's grace. However, I have suffered in other ways, so believe me...the consequences run deep. Please take your daughter to a counselor and explore the WHY. Just telling her to stop will not work. Putting her on restriction, taking away her phone...none of that will work. Sex is like a drug and once you start it's hard to stop unless you understand why you're doing it in the first place. I'm 42 now and only just beginning to explore these issues myself. I married that boyfriend, had two children with him, and we divorced 15 years into our marriage. He was an unrepentant adulterer and I was a deeply wounded woman. Please don't punish her...dig deep. I pray your daughter will discover her worthiness sooner than later.

Rita - posted on 10/19/2017

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First clarify whether or not you want her to not have sex or to not get pregnant. A teenager pregnancy is probably the worst thing that can happen to a girl because she'll need to spend a good chunk of her life on hold as she raises a child. I don't believe in abortion. Teen guys don't man up and become responsible fathers either, so she'd be on her own.

If your goal is to prevent a pregnancy then get her on birth control or give her condoms and make sure she knows how to use them and uses them all the time.

If you want her to stop having sex period then look up chastity belts online. They're usually sold in bdsm sex shops. It's crude and repressive but there's no other way your going to stop her from having sex. Just have her agree to wear it if she's out of the house and you hold the keys otherwise punish her somehow or ground her to make sure she stays hold.

I don't think you can stop her from having sex unless you either lock her up or lock her genitals up. Birth control is a harm reduction solution and I think is the best solution here. I know it's hard for your child to start to become sexual but you were her age once too and I'm sure you were plenty interested in sex, right?

I wish you and your family the best of luck.

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