My 15 year old is selfish

Jeannette - posted on 06/28/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 16 year old daughter who hates me and she wants to move out .She wants to move in with her boyfriend and his mom who is pregnant and has 6 more kids . She has only known them for about 3 weeks and ever since then she has been so mean and unhappy being home . I ask very little from her like to help clean or cookaround the house it becomes an arguement but then her bf mom tells me she cooks and cleans her house without being told .Wtf !!!
I buy her whatever she ask me for but its never enough shes still mean and rude . Shes always grumpy and i cant even talk to her cuz i get a silent respnse or just a look to kill . When she is in a good mood she wants to cuddle and hug me but that can change in a minute . I think she might be bipolar .I love her .Someone help

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Patricia - posted on 06/28/2016

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Even though you're hurt and baffled by her behavior, I'm sure you want to build a healthy, good relationship between the two of you. You are the parent, and she is only 16.. so as far as where she lives, that is up to you. I would recommend Dr.Townsend's book, 'Boundaries with Teens'. Here is a link to an audio by Dr. Townsend regarding this issue : http://bit.ly/1WZ2egL. The book is much more thorough and you can find it on Amazon. Also, here is a good article on Rules and Rebellion http://bit.ly/296aFVU.
As far as her being helpful in someone else's home, but not yours, that is very common for a teenager.
I'm praying that you and your daughter develop and establish good healthy communication. It doesn't happen all at once. Be patient. Ask God to help you be kind, even when she is not (I don't mean that you should be a push-over..and boundaries and consequences do need to be set) but it doesn't help anything if you respond in anger to her anger. That just becomes a vicious cycle.

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Paula - posted on 06/29/2016

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So sorry mom. It does sound like typical teenage behavior, but you don't have to agree with it. I think it may help to set some expectations and boundaries for her. She needs consequences for unacceptable behavior too. Above all she needs your love. Keep loving her the best way you know how....

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