My 16 year old daughter is going out with a 18 year old, should I be concerned

Jp - posted on 08/13/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




My 16 year old daughter is going out with a 18 year old. Should I be worried? I've already discussed setting boundaries with him, (you know what I mean) She states that he does respect her boundaries and she isn't interested in sex right now...despite most of her friends have already had it. Her friends are actually encouraging her to be more sexually active.Talk about peer pressure.

She's going into grade 11 and he'll be attending university next year. They have already dated for 7 months . I think he's too old for her and she's too young to be in a long term relationship. But, she's head over heels over him. She is texting him 24/7 .They are constantly telling each other they love each other. My daughter has always struggled with her self esteem and he's very complimentary to she says she feels good being around him. I am afraid she is making him too much of her center of the universe. She is more happy than she has been in the past when she wasn't dating him.I'm I there too much of a gap? Should I 16 years old be dating someone seriously?


[deleted account]

Hi Gerri, I have a 17 years old daughter, and she was in a relationship (9 months) that was long distance. He lived in another state and they met on line. He was a year younger and a grade younger than her. They texted 24/7, hundreds of text messages a day, skype and phone calls as well. She has low self esteem and he would tell her she was so beautiful and perfect to him. They planned on going to college together and marrying. He was her world. We fought about it constantly, I thought she was missing out on dating boys in her own school and doing high school things. Prom, homecoming, dating. It ended suddenly and very painful for her. She is still grieving for him. He didn't die, he just ended it unexpectedly and wont even talk to her anymore.He is with another girl already, two months out. Long story short, she is now dating a 19 year old guy. She does early college, so they attend the same school.I am happy she is with someone a bit older. Hoping there is more maturity in him.If your daughters bf is going to a university, chances are it will end anyway. From what I have seen with my own daughters friends who were older than her with bf's that went on to college, the relationships just don't survive. Its not an an age gap in my opinion. If he is good to her and makes her happy that's what is important. My daughter loved having a steady boyfriend and most of her friends want that too.Take it from me, if you try to end it, your relationship with her will be damaged. I know mine is with my daughter due to the constant fighting over her ex. It's not worth it as long as she is safe. It will end on it's own.

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