my 16 yr old and i got into a dissagrement ... now she won"t come home!!!

Becky - posted on 03/07/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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we got into a disagreement about school and her out of control attitude! she called her dad and left thought it was just for the night ... well now it has been a week ! called the cops 1 said she had to come home told her dad ! nothing refuses 2 call or answer the phone ! went to the cops the 4th time and he had nerve enough to tell me she is 16 and can live where she wants .. take it to court! ????? by that time u are said and done she will ne 18 ! Okay well don't I have any rights ??? What am I suppose to do ? 1.) let her go ~ then she comes backs and hates me because I didn't make her come home ! 2.) go get her get the cops called again take the chance of going to jail ~ because now it is a domestic dispute ...???? 3.) Let her go and pray I did the best I could ??? 4.) give him all my rights relinquish them to him so I cant be held responsible ? IM LOST COULD SOMEONE PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT TO DO ???? THANKS,

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Frances - posted on 03/08/2013

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Hi Becky,
Sorry about to hear what's been going on. Not knowing what was the nature of the disagreement and your relationship with your daughter overall, it's hard to give advice. However, if your daughter wants to stay with her dad, unless it's an unsafe place for her to be, keep the cops out of it. You really cannot force her to come back. That doesn't mean that you are relinquishing your parental rights. The best that you can do now, is to respect her decision to leave. She made the decision, you didn't ask her to leave. When things cool down, approach them both again to find out if/when you can visit so that she doesn't think that you have abandoned her. In the meantime, text her, if you can and find out if there is a way that you two can talk alone to clear the air.
It may be just better for now to leave her with her dad as long as it is a safe environment for her. Will he be a good and responsible parent to her? What will be better for her and for you at this point given your relationship with her?

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