My 17 year old daughter is dating a 14 year old boy. Not sure if I like the boy, definitely uncomfortable about the age.

Drobinson73 - posted on 03/18/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Current status: I am 40 years old and have four children, two of which are my children from my previous marriage (16 year old son and 14 year old daughter). My husband has two as well (17 year old daughter and 15 year old son). ALL living with us. My concern is that I am having trouble swallowing the dating of my 17 year step daughter to a 14 year old boy. And furthermore don't know how to make it stop OR just deal with it. My step daughter is sexually active and I am not sure IF she has had a sexual encounter with this boy yet or even if he has ever. She will be 18 in January. I met the mother of the boy very briefly. I don't know if she knows or cares of my step daughters age. The boy unfortunately I have judged him based on his appearance (partial shaved head, dyed jet black hair, piercings etc.) and not sure I have given him a fair chance BUT HE IS 14! I just can't get to know him like I would someone her age. I guess what I need is some advice, any advice, I am lost, scared, and there are 3 other children in the house. What should I do?

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Shannon - posted on 03/31/2014

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As a mother of a Grade 8 boy who briefly dated a Grade 11 girl... Wish I'd of known that he had been. I found out by reading his fb IMs and was very upset about the things she introduced him to, specifically drugs and alcohol. Thankfully, he only was with her for 2 months. I'm lucky he chose to turn to the church instead of drugs, but he still won't check in with me.

His recent gf is a year older than him and he stayed over at her house for the night without my permission. Her parents were alright with it.... I grounded him and then called her parents to let them know it wasn't alright for him to be there over night.

I am having lots of issues with my son because he acts older than he is. At 13 he was six feet and by 14 he was six foot two. Since he is the oldest child and was given a lot of responsibility and freedom along with his gifted verbal intelligence he tends to befriend older children.

When parents first meet my son they don't like him because he's loud, outspoken and has natural black long hair, leather jacket, and black clothes. They usually conclude he's a druggy. Until they spend time with him and then he is the favourite of all the friends. Once they figure out how responsible, smart, and kind hearted he is they want him to hang out with their kids all the time.

I just got off the phone with his gf mom and she mentioned how great a kid he was. This is the same woman who thought he would be sleeping with her daughter.... which they aren't. Both of us have been very sneaky and kept lines of communication wide open....

Michelle - posted on 03/25/2014

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What I would do since there is a three yr age difference have a sit down with her him and his mother and see if she is OK with the age difference . I would check on the laws there and discuss them laws with them

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