My 17 year old moved out tonight. I don't know what I should do. We are always fighting over school and chores. Its been horrible for the last few years, and a part of me wants to just let him learn a life lesson and let him go.

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Martha - posted on 12/09/2012

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I would take the class for sure. You can never learn too much. He is going to have to help himself, and you are going to have to take care of yourself. And I need to listen to my own advice! It is so heartbreaking, I miss my son, the one I used to have, not the one he is today. I am crying with you Mom, it has become a part of everyday life. I don't have an answer for that.

Karen - posted on 12/09/2012

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I am taking a class called parenting with love and logic in Jan. But I feel like it might be a waste considering he's almost 18 and moved out. http://www.loveandlogic.com/



I took my son for counseling, but he refused to continue. He's 6'2" and angry. I can't force him to help himself. At some point, you have to set boundaries and stop letting them control us. I take everything so personal and it hurts my heart physically. I've feel like I've done everything I can, and have no choice but to let him go. Now, I'm crying again.

Martha - posted on 12/09/2012

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Wow, sounds so familiar. A year ago my son was the light of my life. He met a younger girl with a bad home life and no goals. The past 10 months has felt like the fight of our lives for my husband and I. It hurts, it consumes our whole lives, and we are so tired. It doesn't feel right to "give up". We are spending sooooo much time in therapy with him. I think my husband and I are going to find a support group for us. We need to be everything we can be for our younger son, 14.

Karen - posted on 12/09/2012

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Thank you, I feel your pain. Mine has done this before, twice, and begged him to come back. But this time, I really think he won't come back. He'll be 18 in Jan. He thinks he knows so much and life would be so much easier if I gave into all his wishes...a car, more freedom, and didn't bug him about his grades and chores. He tells me I am a horrible mother, a liar, I never loved or wanted him and that I run everyone out of my life and once he leaves I be all alone.



I can't take it anymore, and nothing works with him. If I say white, he says black, if I say up, he says down. If don't respond to his rant, I don't care or love him. If I do respond, I don't understand or say the "right" things. The stress has caused me to be ill...I want him here with me to finish his education, but I don't think I can live with him the way he is right now.

Martha - posted on 12/09/2012

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My 17 year old constantly threatens to move out and quit school. My husband and I have chased after him every time and talked him into staying. I guess it scares us that he would throw high school away. I think we are wrong to do this, If we let him go I think he would come back and stop the constant threats.



I guess I take it very personally because we have worked hard to send him to one of the best schools in town. I teach at a pre school and every penny I make goes to pay for his school. Until this year he has worked hard and made the most of his education, it's been worth every booger I have had to clean off my shirt!



I think you are right to let him learn a life lesson.

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