My 19 Year old son May be spending 5 to 15 in prison. Advice on how to handle this Please?

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My 19 Year old son May be spending 5 to 15 in prison. Advice on how to handle this Please?

Since he was 13 we have been having trouble. He started hanging out with the wrong crowd, doing drugs, drinking, sneaking out at night, stealing from cars at night...We have tried everything to help him. Now he is 19 and looking at doing prison time. We have always been there for him every step of the way, twice in jail, for the 8 months in Cotton Wood prison for young men, and now we are considering not visiting, no money no contact at all. It's the only we have yet to try.

Please give me your advice, or your opinion. I am desperate.

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Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2010

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First and foremost do not cut him off. Let him know you are dissapointed in his choices but regardless you will always!!!!!!! love him. Do not make excuses for him like he started hanging out with the wrong crowd. He has to be held accoutable for his decisions. He,not the people he hangs with, makes choices. He is an adult now and has to realize there are consequences for every decision he makes, whether it be good or bad. Make sure while in prison he has counseling and learns the importance of good choices. He needs to also learn his decision not only have consequences for him but for the people around him. This may be the best thing for him. He needs to do some sould searching and get to the bottom of what is making him do these things. Also request drug counseling while in prison. And the last and most important advice I can offer to you is pray. God has got to be the center of everything we do. He has a reason for all things and though we don't always understand why things happen we have got to have faith that He is in control of us all and that he will take care of His children. I will pray for your son and your family. Hang in there and know you are not alone. When you feel like you have know where else to turn or when you feel like you just can't go on anymore God is there for you and he will listen and answer prayers,,,,just be patient and listen for His guidance. God bless.

Gina - posted on 03/12/2013

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what type of group is this? I'd like to join and dont know how. I have a 19 year old son who was recently sent to prison. I am having a very hard time and I need a support group. Please tell me how to join. My email address is...lilfailla62@aol.com...and I'd appreciate any suggestions or help you can offer me. thank you, Gina

Wanda - posted on 06/27/2016

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My son just went to jail for 180 days how do you get through it where did i go wrong with him. I find myself becoming very depressed. I also do not have anything to do with family member that put him there. I am so ashamed of this hold thing

Loretta - posted on 01/21/2010

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The only true help have is Jesus Christ. My son is in jail servng a 3 year sentence, but hopefully will be out on parole this summer. He was raised as a Christian, but always wanted to be the most popular, got hooked on "triple-c's", drank alcohol, etc...and was arrested a number of times for under age possession of alcohol and various misdemeanors and finally broke into someone's house and took some things. He returned everything, but that was too little too late. Jail has actually been the best thing for him. He has got the drugs out of his system. He reads his bible and prays constantly. He has set goals for himself, and truly appreciates his home and family more than ever before. He never wants to go back there. We and many others are praying for him, and I truly believe in the power of prayer, and if he chooses to be obedient to Jesus, Jesus can and will correct his behavior problems. That's really the only way ...I will pray for your son and family!

Anne - posted on 01/21/2010

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My 18 year old son is in jail - missed his 17th and 18th birthdays, 2 xmas and new year.He done wrong and has been punished by the law.I will not add to his punishment by stopping contact,not visiting etc.I miss him so much - and he realises that his actions have punished his family as much as him.He lives for letters and visits - and I live for his letters and phone calls. I have 4 sons who I love equally, but in times of trouble it is the most vulnerable that gets a wee bit extra! My son is due home at the end of April and I will be the happiest mum on the planet.

12 Comments

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Gail - posted on 12/27/2014

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what do u mean? dont give him any money? he will spend it on the wrong things???

Angelica - posted on 04/27/2013

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Just keep on working , because my 9 year old daughter thought it would be funny to prank call someone and they called the police and she ended up having to go to prison for 2 years. It was very emotional , but we kept working and by the age of 12 she was a perfect little angel.

Karleen - posted on 01/27/2010

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with a bit of luck prison might give him a shake up. I don't know if he was my son I would have to visit him. but don't give him any money cause he will spend it on the wrong things good luck :)

Maribel - posted on 01/21/2010

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I am so sorry that u r going through this. It's not easy being a parent especially when they r rebelling. My advice 2 u is 2 put in God's hands. He's our Father n He knows what's best. I will keep u all in my prayers. God Bless u all n may God's mighty hands b upon u all.

Zelphina - posted on 01/21/2010

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Hi Rinnie,
I agree that God and Prayer are very important. This could be the best thing for him and don't allow him to make excuses for his actions. He alone is responsible. He is going to need to know you are there for him and will always love him ,but he needs to use this time constructively because when he gets out may not be very easy. My son-in-law has been out for 1 yr. and will not be able to get a job because of the offense.Remember to take time for yourself....when we are at our best is when we can help our families the most.

Zelphina

Bridgette - posted on 01/16/2010

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...I have three sons and things sometimes get fustrated for me but we have learn to trust in God to see us though...Hopefully things will turn around for your son...don't cut him off just let him know you love him and i will praying for both of you!

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