My 21 year old Daughter moved out because I wouldn't let the boyfriend sleep with her...

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

I am in shock and hurt but getting to the point of shutdown because "I don't care anymore"..oh sure, I love her but I can't believe what she's done....she's not even living on her own in an apartment!! She's staying with a girlfriend less than a mile away under some other mother's roof because she can have the boyfriend there or run to where he lives in NJ and stay there. She is a Senior in College and still has two more years for Grad school! I had her living in a bubble - paid for everything - we WERE so close....no more...alot of distance....her father is not really in the picture and she doesn't talk to her sister [that is due to what the father did...I was working on fixing it...] I'm beyond trying to figure out what to do anyore...let her go...let her fall on her face or is that just going to make her run into his arms more?? I will not compromise my values and rules at the risk of losing my daughter....

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Denikka - posted on 01/07/2013

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She's a 21yr old adult woman. And you're treating her like a rebellious teenager. I'd be pissed off about it too and I'd be looking for any way out.
You're going to have to face the fact that she is an adult. I can understand and sympathize with you not wanting her to have sex in your house. You have that right. But she has the right to go live somewhere else that will allow her to make her own adult decisions.
At this point, keep the door open, but let her go. You don't have the right to make decisions for her anymore.

Amy - posted on 01/07/2013

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No offense but she's 21 and you can't keep her in a bubble forever. In order for her to learn she has to make her own mistakes, so let her go but be ready to help pick up the pieces when she needs it!

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