my child has no friends help

Jerica - posted on 09/19/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

5

0

0

i dont know what to think of her she sits at home all the time

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Lauren Izzy - posted on 03/21/2013

5

0

0

Aww well maybe you could talk to her teacher and maybe talk to the other moms to setup a playdate. I hope this helps and good luck!

13 Comments

View replies by

Tanya - posted on 10/09/2009

87

13

4

My eldest daughter wasn't prone to having many friends was shy. I encouraged her to join clubs and sports, which helped. My husband and I would practice w/ her and she was so happy when she made the team. I also think self image portrayed a role. I was always telling her she was special to me, how much I love her, how beautiful she is. I was always praising her. She was self consious cuz she was tall and tended to slouch. She still is tall but no longer conscious of it. I also blamed myself cuz I don't think we properly socialized her as a toddler and later when she was in Elem. school. Her only friends as a toddler and early elem school were her cousins. I didn't schedule play dates, etc. It was usually just her and I that would go to the zoo, the movies, etc. Now that she's older, more confident and has her own circle of friends she's blossomed. I always encourage all my kids to try new things and to branch out. Hope that's helpful!

Emma - posted on 10/09/2009

3

15

0

I have had the same problem with my 15 yr old son. Due to jobs and life, we have moved alot.l He has not had the same group of friends from K-high school like so many children have. I regret this, but he is coming out a little. He doesn't go very many places, but he does text and call a large group of people. Compliment anything and everything that he does well (My son can sing!! I tell him all the time to make sure he sings in his partner's ear while dancing! Now, if he would just go to a dance!) Show him everyday that he has talent and worth. Love her and accept her as she is... don't force her. My son came home today to tell me he needs $ to join a club at school.

Nicole A. - posted on 09/24/2009

30

42

3

you know. i used to do that. i'm an only child so i was used to it. maybe find out the interests. see if there are any clubs. see if she would like to join The Y or Girls club. if there are cousins around her age, see if you can round them up for an all girls luncheon. there are some places at malls that do free group facials or manicures... what i used to do with my younger female cousins is a sleepover.. let them stay up as long as they wanted. did a nail polishing party and let them be themselves..

Estella - posted on 09/21/2009

8

2

1

My daughter was very shy until a few years ago. I went with our local 4-H program. It has a sorts of projects and not just animals. One of the books is on public speaking and it helps get kids out of their shell a little bit. Photography is another good book if your daughter likes to use a camara. There is also small engines, leather work, sewing, computer stuff, small animal such as pocket pets (hamsters, ginea pigs, lizards, birds), rabbit, chicken, cat, and dog.

Lisa - posted on 09/21/2009

11

81

0

One thing i k now that help my son was a youth group at one of our churches where i live it doesn't matter if its your faith or not there are other youths there that just needs some place to go and talk and meet new kids there age. My son loves going it took me a year to get him to go but after the first time he went he was hooked...I am also making friends with the youth group and i am getting involve with the church that it belongs to too. I am cathloic and the church is called new view which is chirstian church but not what i am but i love it and it is bring me closer to my son and we enjoy going to church together even though he sits with his friends that he made at the youth group try it out and see how that goes....I wish all of you good luck my son has lots of friends but if you listen to him he has no friends and no life. ven thought he is not stop doing stuff and texting friends...lisa

Mindy - posted on 09/21/2009

2

21

0

Well I agree with the other moms I am a mother of an 18yr old son who suffered a Stroke at 15 due to a heart birth defect that was unknown to us, so he has lost the best part of his teenage years so, what we did is let him feel out who and what he needs in his life and he loves Animals so that is what he focuses on now. So hang in there, plus we as a family play alot of board and video games with him

Deirdre - posted on 09/20/2009

21

19

2

As long as she is not depressed and withdrawn from family and losing interest in things that she usually loves, you probably have nothing to worry about. Some kids are just loners and prefers to be on their own. If other kids are not being nice to her, that is a different story. You should sit down and really talk to her and try to get her to open up. That will give you a better idea of what is going on. I went through this with my oldest child. He spent his childhood pretty much alone, but seemed perfectly happy in spite of it. Now, he has lots of friends. Just give it time and give her lots of love and understanding! Good luck!

Katie - posted on 09/20/2009

1

8

0

I have a 13 year old who lived with his mom until last December. At 12 years old he was 200lbs and got picked on all the time. We took him to the YMCA and got him in to a swimming program and now he has lost 45 lbs and feels better about himself. We are still working on the friend part. He wants to make friends but is afraid of being hurt. Although I can't protect him from all the mean people in the world, being at the YMCA has given him some self esteem back. Today we are going to church for the first time in YEARS. I am hoping he can meet some kids there.

Jackie - posted on 09/20/2009

104

27

34

Hi Jerica, i have a 15 year old who likes to stay a lot of the time in her room too. She has 1 very good friend but they blow hot and cold a lot of the time . Has she had friends or is this new for her.? You know your daughter , encouragement and love is needed in this age and listening skills . Speak to her , and really listen to her answer . Have you many friends? Rooms can be havens with all mod cons in them but the flipside is we can become isolated from our daughters and we need to keep in touch with them. Go to the cinema with her , shopping and a bit of lunch dont take no for an answer , do things that dont cost a fortune but mean that she is taking part in life . Has she a cousin who could take her under their wing? Don't say "you have no friends why are you always in your room , its not right for a girl of 15 to have no friends blah blah blah " Keep this to yourself , reinforce her interests ,tell her daily you love her, make sure she is not depressed and with you by her side she will come through this .There might not be a problem but if there is nip it in the bud now and take the princess out of her ivory tower ..........and downstairs to wash the dishes and a chat ,jackie xx

Erika - posted on 09/19/2009

1

9

0

While I agree with the posts below, however those things I have done with my own daughter and nothing helped. The really ironic part is I work with girls her age and feel I am very successful supporting young ladies to strive to be their best, however with my own I have yet to find the right "touch" to encourage her to do more. She does enjoy cooking and is now taking college courses at High School in Culinary Arts, however her circle of friends continues to be very limited and she continues to prefer to stay home, read a book, do homework, or watch Food Network.

Wendy - posted on 09/19/2009

23

23

4

I agree with Kelly, you need to encourage her interests. There are lots of different clubs at school she can join, it's still early in the school year, so she won't feel awkward not knowing anyone yet. Youth group at church is another great place for friendships to grow. Once she has one good friend, she'll meet that friend's friends, soon she'll be hanging out at the mall every Fri nite, lol. Good luck!

Kelly - posted on 09/19/2009

1

10

1

Try to find out what it is she likes to do. i found that my daughter wanted to ride horses. I found a place for her to ride and she transformed. We now have our own horses, she is showing and hanging out with all the other girls who love to ride as well.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms