My concerns about my daughter masturbating

Darrenwilliams1965 - posted on 08/18/2017 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter is ten years old, and a very happy child. My wife and I cherish her, and it would be so good if our daughter remained a happy innocent child. Even though I know the time will come when she becomes interested in boys, I'm not looking forward to that happening.
I suppose I'm a typical father, and can't stand the thought of my baby girl growing up and getting 'involved' with boys who will probably be interested in only one thing.
Two days ago, I went into our daughter's bedroom to tell her that her friend was on the phone... and saw she was 'touching' herself. She wasn't aware I was there, and I quickly came away. I told my wife about it and she said that it's completely normal and she'd been aware of it for a long while.
I feel completely confused! Is this normal? Does it mean my daughter is thinking about 'those' kinds of things? Has she grown up too quickly because of all the explicit stuff on TV (soap operas etc.) that she's seen? Or is it just part of her growing up and developing into an adult human being?
I'd be grateful for any views.

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Lika - posted on 03/06/2019

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Darren, I know this was a year and a half ago.
I want to reassure you that most girls masturbate because it feels good, not because they are thinking of sexual activity with a boy. Even me as a adult woman, I masturbate because I like to, not because I want to have sex with someone. (Although as an adult my arousal may begin with sexual thoughts.)

I wish my friend Sarah K's account wasn't invisible, she is wiser in dealing with this.

Michelle - posted on 08/20/2017

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Completely normal.
Do you remember the age you found out that it feels good? Probably as a very young boy.
Sorry, but you will have to accept that you daughter will grow up. If you try and keep her as a child you will push her away.

Laxmi_memane - posted on 08/19/2017

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As your wife said it's normal. She is growing up now. And always knock the door before entering.

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Lika - posted on 03/08/2019

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Hi Olivia,
There is no evidence Sarah was banned.
There has not been an email, no warning when she logs in.
When she logs in. After she puts in her email and password, then hits the login, the next page that loads up is a completely empty page, like a blank sheet of white paper - and that's it. All her posts have, no so much disappeared, but like they have become invisible as comments count indicates they are still there. I know one other person it has happened to, and apparently many other as well.

Help is no help.

https://www.circleofmoms.com/hot-topics-...

Olivia - posted on 03/07/2019

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I agree with everyone here that her exploring and touching herself is completely normal. I feel masturbation is a healthy thing, for boys and girls.

Lika, what happened to our Kiwi friend Sarah? You are right, Sarah has such good advice. Was she banned? I see other moms just "disappeared".

Mark - posted on 08/21/2017

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Hi Daniel. It sounds to me like your reaction to finding this out about your daughter is pretty common for most parents. As the dad of two daughters, including one teenager, I can say that this is a topic that most parents will have to discuss with their daughters at some point. But don’t panic. Self-exploration is pretty normal for teens and pre-teens as they approach puberty.

That being said, the key to approaching her about it should be done at the right time, which is up to you and your wife to decide. Also, when you do approach her about it, try and be gentle, and understanding, and let her know that you love her, and if she has any questions about sexuality, let her know that you are going to be there for her.

This article could be a helpful resource for you to read regarding this topic. One of the things the article stresses is that “your growing children will be comforted and aided by your kind, mature wisdom and gentle direction.”

Dad, you and your wife sound like you’re already doing a great job raising your daughter. I have confidence that you’ll teach her about this in a constructive and loving manner, and she will be just fine.

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