my daughter decided to move in with her father

Tammy - posted on 02/19/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Here goes............ I have really never had problems with LeighAne............ until her 18th birthday on Feb. 13, 13. I kinda knew this day was coming but I thought I had would be ready. Well I wasnt. I thought I done everything in my power to save her from the mistake she has made. LeighAne was on restriction for breaking curfew on a school night. I allowed her to see her boyfriend on the 14th., we invited him to her birthday dinner saturday and she was allowed to attend church with him on sunday. She never came home from church. She called me and said she was going to be living with her dad. Im sorry WHAT?!?!?!? I was lierally was broken. She let me on know that she is now 18 and can make her on decisions. He hasnt paid child support in over a year. He hasnt had any part in her life. He has her believing I have kept them apart. Its all my fault? WHAT AM I TO DO? My husband and I have a 12 yr. Old daughter that is truly suffering. She is now sleeping on the floor in our room.

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Tammy - posted on 02/27/2013

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I agree with you 100%. I believe he will run her in the ground just to hurt me. They both ( sorry daddys) wil have to answer to a higher power. Keep your headd up. She loves you it just takes time. My daughter has been txtn me. She has been very sick since she left. They both will have to hit rock bottom to see and all we can do is be there for them and NEVER NEVER give up hope. GOD bless.

Keely - posted on 02/27/2013

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I'm very sorry for what you are going thru as well Tammy. It does not matter how old a child is, when you see them going down the wrong path it still hurts. Those of us who try to instill morals, godly behavior, etc... are viewed as the one with the problem. And nowadays kids are taught at a very young age that they have a choice if they do not like the ground rules at one home, just go to the other home. It's very sad and that is why we have so many dysfunctional adults today. And I am sorry, but if her father was a good parent and role model, he would've been there for her the whole time and not just now when it's conveinent beacuse she's legally an "adult".

Tammy - posted on 02/27/2013

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I am truly sorry keely. If anyone ever says this is easy theyre dead wrong. Everybody has their own story. I just cant imagine leighane leaving at the age of 13. Her dad has tried year after year to drive a wedge between my daughter and I. Telling her that I have kept her from him when there were many times she waited on him to come and he never showed up. So sad for a child. She has been better off without him in her life. I will pray for u and ur lil daughter. GOD has a plan...... sit tight.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/26/2013

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So what you are saying is that your adult daughter decided to move to her father's to finish the school year?

If you're in the US, most states have a certain age where the kid can make the decision of who to live with. And in the US, 18 is considered adult. In most european countries, 18 is an adult, and 18 yos are allowed to consume alcohol.

What you look upon as a mistake may be the step that makes your daughter into a self sufficient adult. But I'm kind of wondering why it is a "mistake" for a daughter to know and have a relationship with her father? After all, he is 1/2 of her DNA, and you did think enough of him at one point to have a child with him. Just because you think that your relationship with him wasn't the best choice doesn't mean that your daughter has made a "mistake". And I bet he'd agree, or at the very least point out that, to him, her living with you was the "mistake".

I do understand the desire to continue to impose restrictions on your adult children, but the reality of the situation is that once they hit 18, they don't even need to have parental supervision. If she wanted to get her own place, she'd be able to do so, and any judge would tell you that it's her choice.

Always remember that your children will not see the world through your eyes. They've got their own eyes to see through. While you and your husband's relationship may have ended, she's still got a relationship with her father.

Keely - posted on 02/26/2013

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I so know what you are going thru right now, only my daughter just turned 13. We have had the normal mother-daughter bickering, etc... I grounded her for being disrespectful to me and she then had her father inform me the next day that she would no longer be coming to my house. Then I caught her sneaking friends to her dad's while he wasn't home and now she's really mad. He refuses to bring her over or have me come to his house so that we can sit down and hash this all out. I'm absolutely heart broken.

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