My daughter's broken heart

Michelle - posted on 09/15/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hello, I am new to this site and already posted this in a comment on someone else's post as I don't know what I'm doing. Sorry about that.

My daughter's boyfriend broke up with her at the end of July. He is starting college this year and my daughter is a senior in high school. My daughter's heart is completely broken. The first two weeks were horrible. I had to take a week off work for fear of her hurting herself. She seems to be a little better now (or at least she has stopped confiding in me and expressing her pain a little) but still has breakdowns here and there. She had one this morning over a song that came on in the car. She also seems to be lashing out a little. She got a tattoo the size of Texas on her arm one week after turning 18. That is very out of character for her and I have to believe it has something to do with the break up. I know it's only been 2 and a half months but when will she start to feel like herself again? It is so hard seeing her this way - she is a shell of the girl she was prior to the break up. I want my sweet, happy, and fun daughter back.

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Hope - posted on 09/21/2016

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Hello. First of let me tell you how sorry I am. Young love can be so brutal! I am sure as a mom it is devastating to see your daughter go thru this. I can understand that this would take months to get over but the mention that she is saying that she may cut herself takes it to a dangerous level. When they want to physically hurt themselves then I think it becomes time to bring in some help. A counselor can help her see that she has her whole life ahead of her and hurting herself may just make more problems. Some times we want to take the pain away for our kids but the best thing we can do is get her some help outside of you. She may be able to confide in them and say things that she can't tell you. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers!

Eager - posted on 09/18/2016

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You sound like a very caring mother, and I am so sorry to hear about your daughter’s break-up -- Going through this situation can be one of the most difficult things one will ever experience. Does she have friends? I think it would be a good idea if she hangs out with her friends – that way her mind is occupied. Perhaps she would be interested in checking out the Boundless website (www.boundless.org). It provides practical resources for matters of life management, and I believe it might be useful for her during this time. Good luck!

Linda - posted on 09/17/2016

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Maybe helping her make sense on how she's feeling might help. Sometimes as females our emotions can really change from point A to point B just due to situations, hormones, etc. Helping her see the positive in situations without being obvious and forceful might help. By her seeing you being positive might draw her out of the mod she's been in. Also helping her see her worth comes from being herself and that no guy should determine that will help build her confidence in the future. She was created with such a beautiful purpose it be a shame to waste it on someone who couldn't see her worth. Plus, if he isn't in the picture then it's because he wasn't meant for the journey that lies ahead. God knows what he's doing. Keep the faith and I will be praying for her, that her heart be healed and that her eyes be open to her tremendous worth:)

Michelle - posted on 09/16/2016

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I tried to take her to a counselor at our church. I made apts twice and both times my daughter made me cancel and assured me that she was fine. I'm just not so sure. I forgot to mention in my post that she has lost at least 15 lbs. she was small before the break up...now size zero is big on her.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/15/2016

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Maybe she would benefit from counseling?

These things take time. The tatt may have been a reactive choice, but she also may have planned to do so once she turned 18 either way.

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Fawn - posted on 09/19/2016

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I am very confused! I have been living with my boyfriend for over a month. I have a 17 year old son. My son doesnt think he needs to follow my boyfriends rules. ( we moved in to my boyfriends house) my son keeps telling me he doesnt want to live there. I love both of the but my son willnt even try! He got into trouble and he refuses to do his punishment. My son does great in school and is going into the military next year. I need help!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/16/2016

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Here's the thing. I know you are worried about her, but she needs to work through this. She is and adult, after all. She can choose whether or not to do counseling, etc.

Tell her you're there for her if she needs you, and try not to push her.

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