My daughters boyfriend just turned 18 and broke up with her I'm finding it harder to cope than her, am I abnormal

Maggi - posted on 08/20/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughters boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her whilst I was on an overseas trip. I am home now and she seems to be coping better than me. I felt helpless when it happened as I was overseas and not able to get home to comfort her. By the time I was home she seems to be ok. The problem I have is that I'm not coping well at all. I am so angry with him for hurting her. I just want to punch him. I spent the last two weeks of my trip away fretting over her, wondering what went on. They had been together 3 years and he turned 18 in July. He had always. Een very attentive, he bought her a diamond commitment ring . Once he turned 18 he started going to casino and clubs and seemed bored when with my daughter. I was worried but my overseas trip had been booked and I couldn't get out of it. Please can anyone tell me why I am feeling so hurt by this boy. I feel like a freak as its her he broke up with not me, so why am I so effected by this. I go from feeling very angry to feeling let down and hurt. I feel guilty that I feel this way I cannot imagine how upset my daughter has been, and I feel guilty that I wasnt home when she needed me . Now I am home she doesn't want to talk about it as she has already had 4 weeks to think about it and seems to be coping quite well, it's me that's the wreck and I feel so stupid. Has anyone else experienced this?

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Maggi - posted on 08/21/2012

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Hi Linda

Thanks for replying to my post . I have found similar posts from other mums and reading them all have helped me. Your advice is very positive, I am trying to be there for her when she wants to talk.
I am still very angry and feel i need to get some sort of closure from him. I am so tempted to Facebook him or ring him, but my heart tells me I would just get very angry with him. So perhaps its not a good idea at present.

I will keep reading everyones post and try and get more advice on these bizarre feelings i have at the moment.

Thanks Linda

Linda - posted on 08/20/2012

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You are a normal mom. He hurt your baby and you weren't there for her. So you would gladly kick his buns for being so uncaring. He just thinks he is better than her because he can go places she can't. She is better off without him if he is going to do her this way. It is his loss. You have a very proud and positive daughter. She is a fighter and she isn't letting some dumb boy hurt her. Just be there for her when she needs you.

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